Emelye's Kitchen

TGDOR 2011

2011-11-20T08:44:00.000-08:00

To all those who have died because of the ultimate expression of hate and transphobia:

We Will Remember!

and we will fight to defeat the ignorance and fear that were the basis of your tragic deaths.

Transgender Day Of Remembrance, 11/20/11.

Naan Bread

2011-05-27T11:10:00.000-07:00

One of the things I've kept myself busy with during my long period of unemployment is by expanding my skills in the kitchen. I know, the stereotype does seem to fit here but hey, it's a real interest, not a reaction a stereotypical gender role. My main focus has been to make good food as inexpensively as possible, something necessitated by my very limited resources. Making delicious food using the most basic and inexpensive ingredients has been a challenge that I've found to be very enjoyable.

One of the things I discovered about myself is how much I enjoy baking. I always liked baking cookies - Christmas time was always a joy for me - but I have discovered that I just love to bake bread. Indeed, on days when my discouragement and depression crush my motivation to do pretty much anything else, reading formulas (recipes) and bread lore in books and bread blogs along with combining flours, yeast, water and salt, kneading, forming, resting and baking a loaf or two are the only things that interest me.

Peter Reinhart, one of the best known and respected authors and "gurus" of artisan bread talks about the transformative nature of the bread making process. I wonder sometimes if that's what attracts me to it, having gone through one or two rather significant transformations myself. He talks about the transformations the wheat and yeast go through to become bread and how these transformations work together to nourish us. The idea of transformations in the process of becoming better, toward a synergistic whole, appeals to me.

One of the things I've learned about bread is that the transformations it goes through need time to develop. Just like I had to go through a pretty lengthy process in my transition, so too does the gestalt of ingredients in order to produce good tasting bread. Trans people are often very impatient once they reach the conclusion that they need to transition. We fail to realize that while we were dealing with the issue, often for years or even decades, the other people in our lives have had no inkling of what we were going through. Once we come out we want everything to be done yesterday. While this is understandable, the pain of living an inauthentic life can be acute, we need to remember to give others the time and space they need to come to grips with the new situation. This time is valuable for ourselves on a personal level as well. Shedding the old skin and acquiring a brand new life takes time getting used to, no matter how eager we are to finish. One of the best pieces of advice I ever got when I started my transition came from a wonderful lady, Robyn Walters, who told me to "Rush slowly," one of the best pieces of advice I ever got.

I've been able to learn enough now that I've started to modify and improve bread formulas that I find in books and the internet. I made a new one this morning and I thought I'd share that one with you, a recipe for an Indian flat bread called naan.

Naan Bread

Poolish
• 1/8 teaspoon instant yeast
• 1 cup (4½ oz) white flour
• 3/4 cup (6 oz) room temperature water

Mix the four, water and yeast in a bowl and cover. Allow to ferment at room temperature for 6 to 8 hours or you can let it ferment for 4 to 5 hours and then place it into the refrigerator overnight (let it warm up for at least an hour before you use it if you go this route). I usually make this right around noon and let it ferment in the kitchen until 8:00 pm.

Dough (I do this part at 8:00 or 9:00 in the evening)
• ¾ teaspoon instant yeast
• 1 cup (4½ oz) unbleached white bread flour
• 1 cup (4½ oz) white whole wheat flour (King Arthur Flour sells this stuff. It's very good.)
• 2 Tablespoons (1 oz) olive oil
• 1/4 (2 oz) cup buttermilk or plain yogurt
• 1½ teaspoon honey
• 1 teaspoon salt (¾ tsn if your buttermilk already has some salt in it)

- To the poolish, add the oil, buttermilk and honey and mix well. In a separate bowl, mix the white and whole wheat flour along with the instant yeast. Add the flours, etc, to the liquids and mix until you get a shaggy dough. Cover and allow to rest for 20 minutes.

- Knead the dough for 3 to 5 minutes and then sprinkle the salt over it. Knead about 5 to 7 minutes more until the dough is smooth and supple. Try not to add too much extra flour to this dough, it needs to be pretty soft. It if gets too sticky, try rubbing some olive oil on your hands and the kneading surface. The dough temperature at the end of the kneading cycle should be about 78º to 81ºF.

- Form the dough into a ball and place it into an oiled bowl. Coat the top surface with oil as well. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let it sit at room temperature for about ½ hour, then place it into the refrigerator overnight.

- The next morning, remove the dough from the refrigerator and let it warm up at room temperature for at least 1 hour. It should have just about doubled in size but if it hasn't, wait until it does.

- Preheat the oven at its highest temperature (500º-550ºF for most home ovens) with a pizza stone on the center rack for at least 30 to 45 minutes so the stone is screamin' hot. Using a pizza stone will help to give naan close to same kind of heat as clay tandoor. If you don't have a pizza stone, a cast iron griddle or even a cast iron pan or dutch oven turned upside down would be a decent substitute.

- Take the dough out of the bowl and gently flatten it with your fingertips somewhat to degas it a bit. Cut it into 6 or 8 equally sized pieces. Form those pieces into balls, cover them and let them rest for 15 to 20 minutes. After resting them, roll the balls flat to about 3/16 to 1/4 inche thick (5 to 6.5 mm). They will shrink back after you roll them so I roll them a little thinner than that and then let them shrink up. Make sure they remain covered after you roll them so they don't dry out before going into the oven.

- Next turn the oven to high broil - 500ºF - and wait a few minutes for the element to come up to heat.

- Before putting the Naan in oven, lightly wet your hands and take the rolled Naan, and flip them between your palms and place onto your baking/pizza stone into the oven. You should be able to place about 2-3 Naan on the baking/pizza stone at a time.

- The Naan will take about 3 to 5 minutes to cook, depending upon your oven. Don't be surprised if it inflates like a pita, this is normal. The naan should be golden brown color on top. Some darker brown spots may also appear.

- After the Naan is baked take it out of the oven and brush lightly with clarified butter or ghee.

- wait 2 to 5 minutes before baking the next batch of naan. It gives oven the chance to get heated again to max.

- let the bread cool on a wire rack before tearing in. I know, it'll be hard, but it will taste better if you do. Enjoy!

I won't be going to Albany next week.

2011-05-04T09:14:00.000-07:00

I won't be going to Albany next week.

The Empire State Pride Agenda (ESPA) has decided to sponsor an "Equality and Justice Day" again this year (they didn't do one last year) on Monday, May 9th. I've been to two of these events before and I won't be going this year.

I thought about going. I even made plans to do it and made a commitment that I will be breaking, something I do not do lightly. The unwillingness to go was present before I figured out the motivations behind it. I was hemming and hawing about right up into the deadline for registration.

What sealed my decision was yet another email from ESPA about the upcoming event. I'd received a number of these emails before and they were all very similar to what I've seen over the past few years:

MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality Gender MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality GENDA MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality GENDA MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality MarriageEquality etc.

Then, the last missive from ESPA had the following (paraphrased), ". . . marriage equality being a life and death issue for them."

That little piece of bullshit sealed my decision. After nine years of waiting to get gender identity protections under the law that gave the same to cis GLB people in 2002, after all the misery and pain and the Deity knows how many deaths that NY trans people have suffered because they couldn't find a job, or were humiliated by being thrown out of a bathroom, or were made homeless by some intolerant landlord and complaining tenants, I heard the head of ESPA write that the convenience of being married in the state you reside is a matter of life and death??? Sorry, they can go do for themselves without my help.

I've become convinced that, in New York State at least, trans LGB and straight people will not get equal protections until in-state marriage convenience/equality is achieved. Yeah, most of the cis people who are working for marriage equality will then go home. Yes, most of the resources of the cis GLB political community will go on to other things. But then, at the very least, the issue of civil rights protections for gender vairiant New Yorkers will have the space to be seen and heard without the looming, oxygen depleting issue of marriage rights muffling the voices and drowning out the cries of the afflicted.

I've always maintained that the best way to separate your true friends from those who really don't care a whole lot is to change your sex. The passing of the marriage equality issue in NY will do the same. The true friends and allies of the trans community will keep working, no matter how few in number they may be. Of course, winning on this issue will be difficult. It'll take more time. More trans people, including myself, will suffer the consequences of being an unprotected but vulnerable minority. The huge distraction, however, of false friends who pay lip service while pushing you to the back of the room - and all too often out the back door - will be gone. The selfish political activists who work only for their own immediate gain in marriage equality, at the expense of others, will have gone home. And then, only then, will the trans community and its true allies be able to be heard.

In the meantime I'll visit my state representatives when they are in the local area and will write them legible handwritten letters about the vital importance of civil rights protections for gender identity. As an afterthought, I might even mention how stupid it is to grant same sex couples full marriage equality when they get married in another state or country where it's legal but not allow the ceremony performed in-state to be legally recognized. Hopefully then, when the marriage equality brass band has stopped blaring in their ears, they may actually start to listen, having hear some faint echos about the issues before!

An anchor point has disappeared

2010-09-05T04:48:00.000-07:00

An anchor point has disappeared, a constant no longer available.
I'm an orphan now,
my dear mother has passed on, has shed her mortal coil.
The world is now a poorer and colder place.

Questions and family

2010-09-02T10:53:00.000-07:00

I’m told my mother is dying.

The reasons are a combination of her age, 83, and complications from injuries she suffered in an auto accident that happened last July 17th. She’s been in hospital since then, most of the time in the critical care unit.

On top of the profound grief I am experiencing, even before her death actually happens, I have to deal with so much more because of my trans status. The pain of my continuing dysphoria over my inappropriately equipped body underlies all of my emotions. The feelings of discouragement, depression and deceasing sense of self worth due to my continuing unemployment – 20 months and counting – and my uncertain financial future.

And then, on top of all that . . . what about the funeral?

What pictures from her life will be displayed – Will some be displayed that show me as a boy, a past that I would rather not be reminded of and one that I’d really rather not have displayed to the public?

What will the obituary say? Will I have to argue with my family to use my real name instead of the one assigned me when I was born? Even if I win that argument, how will they use it? “Surviving are a daughter and two sons, Louise, Emelye and Martin?” or will the obituary tell the truth?

“Surviving are two daughters and a son, Louise, Emelye and Martin.”

How will people address me at the funeral? How many times will I be misgendered and/or called by my old name? How should I deal with the people that do so? Will someone actually have the stupidity and gall to suggest my transition contributed to her passing? If they do, how should I deal with that? What if a family member actually says that?

The questions keep coming and I don’t know the best way to answer most of them. I’ll find a solution to some of them, I’m sure, but how can I know that they will be the best ones? Can I prevail against the wishes of my sister and brother if they disagree with my needs regarding posting pictures and an accurate obituary? Can I rely on my sense and emotional discernment to be able to tell the difference between honest errors about my name/pronouns and spiteful attacks while I’m emotionally engaged with the loss and grief I have to bear? If I fail, do I remove myself from the entire proceedings? How can I deal with not being there, not being able to say good bye to her within the framework of the specific ceremony designed to help me do that?

Fortunately I have time to think of these things although I don’t know how much. More immediate issues are pressing as well. How do I pay for the trip to Connecticut and where will I stay when I get there? Will I be able to sleep at my sister’s house or will her husband continue to find my presence so offensive that I’ll have to pay for a motel?

We’ll see.

I'm beginning to see double!

2010-07-12T09:55:00.000-07:00

I read an article in the Gay City News about the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) becoming involved in the fight against those New York State senators who voted against civil marriage equality last year. The first paragraph of the article tells us,

Signaling clearly that it is “all-in” on the push for marriage equality in the Empire State, the Human Rights Campaign, the Washington-based LGBT lobby, has launched the Campaign for New York Marriage, promising to deliver what the group’s top spokesman, Fred Sainz, termed “an unparalleled commitment of resources.”

With the Empire State Pride Agenda (ESPA) so closely resembling the HRC and it's Gay Elite Inc. focus on the monetary benefits of marriage for well to do gay and lesbian people it's no wonder that I'm seeing double. HRC and "HRC-Lite" in the same state, working together on an issue that, while it's important, is geared primarily towards benefitting straight acting, well off gay and lesbian couples while simultaneously, and with unfortunate consistency, ignoring once again the gender variant gay, lesbian, bisexual and straight citizens of New York? It's enough to make you nauseously dizzy!

I suppose the push towards electing politicians who support same sex marriage rights might benefit the trans community somewhat. They might be a bit more likely to support nondiscrimination laws for gender nonconforming people. That's a long shot though, as we have seen for far too long in this state. It's much more likely that support for trans inclusion in the state's nondiscrimination law will be nowhere near the list of criteria they draw up for possible candidates to support. ESPA and HRC have traditionally been too lazy to reach alll the way to the furthermost reaches where gender variant people have been pushed, substantially by Gay Elite Inc.'s doing. The Sexual Orientation Non Discrimination Act (SONDA) of 2002 has been called a gay hate crime against the trans community. I may not go that far but, to tell you the truth, it sure feels like it sometimes.

Where was the HRC when ESPA was giving it's lip service to the trans community this past year and previous? Where was Senator Duane when the Senate's Judicial committee was voting the Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act (GENDA) into the trash bin? When will it be "all in on the push" for ESPA and the HRC instead of a feeble nudge when they get around to it for GENDA?

I've written before in this blog that marriage equality affects the trans community as well as the GLB's. My marriage is legal but because it looks like a same sex coupling I have to be prepared to out myself as trans, and to take the obvious risks by doing so, to defend it . And do we need to be reminded of the egregious cases in Kansas and Texas where trans women were denied their existing marriage rights because of their past? The fact remains, however, that being legally married in a legally recognized union is poor consolation when you can't get a job or are fired for transitioning. The bigots that harass us in restaurants and who deny us a decent place to live because we are different would laugh in our faces if we waved our marriage certificates in front of their noses, no matter how legally valid they were.

I will, as I have done before, publicly support civil marriage equality in New York State and the rest of our country. It's only right that I do so, transgender couples have a dog in this hunt as well as the GLB's. I will continue, however, to remind Gay Elite Inc. of their promise made in 2002, to "come back" for the trans community all the while adding the less than welcome fact regarding their part of the responsibility for the broken lives, shattered families and economic failures within the New York trans community.

A much needed victory!

2010-06-23T07:52:00.000-07:00

The New York State Senate approved the Dignity for All Students Act (DASA) last night in a 58-3 vote. Governor Paterson has already indicated that he will sign this bill into law. it will take effect on July 1, 2012. It's notable that this bill is the first in state history to include protections for gender identity. The bill also includes “actual or perceived race, color, weight, national origin, ethnic group, religion, religious practice, disability, sexual orientation, gender or sex.”

An amendment to add cyber bullying was defeated. Republicans pushed for the amendment claiming it was more inclusive and makes the bill better. “If we look at this honestly, we should support this amendment because it’s all-inclusive,” Sen. John DeFrancisco. The law covers actions that happen on school property only. Since there are a number of important related issues to cyber bullying that would not have been addressed by the bill as written, I think it's a good thing it wasn't added. The issue is complex enough to require a separate bill.

The three no votes all came from Republican party members: John DeFrancisco (District 50), George Maziarz (District 62) and Dale Volker (District 59). My senator, Sen. Cathy Young, voted yes which gives me hope that she will give GENDA a fair shake when it comes back to the Senate (someday). The amazing thing is that Ruben Diaz, the perennial Senate homo/transphobe, voted yes. I suspect he saw the bill would be passed anyway and didn't want to be on the losing side, especially in an election year. The bill was passed in the state Assembly 9 times already and this is the first year the Senate has acted on it, having been blocked from coming to the floor until now. “Shameful,” Assemblyman Danny O’Donnell, a Manhattan Democrat who shepherded the bill through his chamber, texted from the Senate balcony. “For nine years we passed this bill and the Republicans did nothing.”

It IS shameful that it took this long to get such an important bill passed. It's equally shameful that the Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act (GENDA) is still in the Senate's dead zone, after being killed in the Judicial committee two weeks ago. Will we have to wait 6 more years for that to pass? I certainly hope not.

The view from the back burner

2010-06-09T09:22:00.000-07:00

I was looking through the Empire State Pride Agenda (ESPA) website this morning and was struck by the general dearth of coverage there of the Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act (GENDA) and the fight to make it law. I noted the paucity of coverage and was considering a blog post about it when I saw that Kat Rose, on the ENDAblog, noticed the same thing and beat me to it.

What she showed is more proof, as if it were really needed, that GENDA always was, and apparently always will be, so far on the back on the rearmost ESPA burner that the danger of its being pushed off the back of the stove is as real as the danger of my being unemployed for the next decade or so - until I hit retirement age, if I survive that long - since my civil rights protections still haven't been passed into law.

To give credit where it’s due, ESPA has done work for GENDA and the trans community in New York. They sponsored many trans people, including me, for their Equality and Justice lobbying days in Albany and have at least one trans person, a trans man, on their payroll to be the point person for organizing around this issue. The problem I have relates not to the work they’ve already done, work that I’m grateful for, but how their priorities stack up and, as the ENDAblog post shows, their priorities simply do not place much importance on the gender variant gay, lesbian, straight and bisexual trans people in New York.

I figure ESPA to be in the same mold as the HRC, run primarily by and for the well to do white gay men of the state who will always make certain their priorities are given the greatest attention, “collateral damage” be damned. They haven’t figured out yet that pushing employment and housing protections for gender variant people would ultimately give them greater resources to fight for their issues, which so many trans people support but cannot contribute to because they are too wrapped up in scratching out their own survival in a state that still considers them third class citizens.

I’m going to look at more trans centered organizations, probably NYAGRA (the New York Association for Gender Rights Advocacy), to push more aggressively in the face of ESPA failures in this regard. I’ve lost hope that ESPA can ever get the job done.

I guess we still don't count around here

2010-06-08T12:44:00.000-07:00

From the New York State Legislature:

STATUS:
S2406-A DUANE Same as Uni. A 5710-A Gottfried (MS)
Executive Law
TITLE....Prohibits discrimination based on gender identity or expression and includes offenses regarding gender identity or expression under the hate crimes statute

02/19/09 REFERRED TO INVESTIGATIONS AND GOVERNMENT OPERATIONS

01/06/10 REFERRED TO INVESTIGATIONS AND GOVERNMENT OPERATIONS

01/20/10 AMEND AND RECOMMIT TO INVESTIGATIONS AND GOVERNMENT OPERATIONS

01/20/10 PRINT NUMBER 2406A

05/21/10 COMMITTEE DISCHARGED AND COMMITTED TO JUDICIARY

06/08/10 CONSIDERED BY COMMITTEE - DEFEATED


02/19/09	REFERRED TO INVESTIGATIONS AND GOVERNMENT OPERATIONS
01/06/10	REFERRED TO INVESTIGATIONS AND GOVERNMENT OPERATIONS
01/20/10	AMEND AND RECOMMIT TO INVESTIGATIONS AND GOVERNMENT OPERATIONS
01/20/10	PRINT NUMBER 2406A
05/21/10	COMMITTEE DISCHARGED AND COMMITTED TO JUDICIARY
06/08/10	CONSIDERED BY COMMITTEE - DEFEATED

The supporters of prejudicial discrimination have won again. I'm not politically savvy enough to be able to dope out the ramifications but it sure seems the trans community has been left by the wayside once again, another year will go by without adequate civil rights protections, another year of gender variant people in New York State being legally fired, harassed and denied services in the public sphere.

I don't have any of the details but I do know there was optimism as late as Sunday, at the Buffalo Pride Festival, coming from some local politically active trans people. The bill was supposed to have had enough votes to get through this committee and eventually into the full Senate. This committee was chosen because the Investigations and Government Operations committee that was holding up the bill didn't have the votes to pass it. From the Albany Times Union, Capitol Confidential blog:

The GENDA bill, which would prohibit discrimination based on how people express their gender or sexual identity, failed by at 12-11 vote in the chamber’s judiciary committee.

This means it will not advance to the floor, and it will be difficult to do so now. Sen. Tom Duane, the bill’s sponsor, called the chamber a “homophobic cesspool.” The vote came after pressure from the Conservative Party to vote against it.

To say I'm disappointed is an understatement. I feel disappointed, sad and, most of all, angry that we still can't get these basic protections passed in New York State. They're passing gender identity inclusive laws in Utah, fer cryin' out loud! A support group I belong to, the Transgender Couples of Western New York, signed up over 100 people at the Pride festival on Sunday, all of whom were asked to sign to support GENDA. The grass roots say it's past due that this should be achieved. I'll have to agree with Senator Duane, the state senate IS a homophobic and transphobic cesspool. The state Assembly has passed GENDA for three years in a row. Not one of those Assembly persons who voted yes suffered any negative political fallout, that I know of.

Each and every Republican member of the committee voted against the bill and were joined by that infamous "religious" homo/transphobe, Rev. Ruben Diaz of the Bronx who is a Democrat but one has to wonder why. The committee voted as follows:

NYS Senate Judiciary Committee
Chair: Sen. John L. Sampson, D-District 19, YES

Yes Eric Adams, (D, WF) 20th Senate District
No John J. Bonacic, (R, C, IP) 42nd Senate District
Yes Neil D. Breslin, (D, IP, WF) 46th Senate District
No John A. DeFrancisco, (R, C, IP) 50th Senate District
No Ruben Diaz, (D) 32nd Senate District
Yes Martin Malavé Dilan, (D) 17th Senate District
Yes Pedro Espada, Jr., (D) 33rd Senate District
Yes Ruth Hassell-Thompson, (D, WF) 36th Senate District
Yes Jeffrey D. Klein, (D, WF) 34th Senate District
No Andrew J Lanza, (R) 24th Senate District
No Kenneth P. LaValle, (R, C, IP) 1st Senate District
No Vincent L. Leibell, (R) 40th Senate District
No George D. Maziarz, (R) 62nd Senate District
No Michael F. Nozzolio, (R, C, IP) 54th Senate District
Yes George Onorato, (D) 12th Senate District
Yes Bill Perkins, (D) 30th Senate District
No Michael H. Ranzenhofer, (R, C, IP) 61st Senate District
No Stephen M. Saland, (R) 41st Senate District
Yes Diane J. Savino, (D, IP, WF) 23rd Senate District
Yes Eric T. Schneiderman, (D, WF) 31st Senate District
No Dale M. Volker, (R) 59th Senate District
No George Winner, (R, C, Ind) 53rd Senate District

Dr Jillian Weiss described the committee's action at the Bilerico Project. Her take was that the proponents of the bill were poorly prepared for the objections of its opponents, namely, the "bathroom" meme. Why is that? Why didn't they have the real and effective counters to the lie that this bill would endanger people in public restrooms, locker rooms and the like? Where was the lobbying effort this year? Oh yeah, there wasn't one - the Empire State Pride Agenda decided not to have one. I guess they thought it was a better idea to save those resources to fight against the senators that voted against marriage equality. It's up to our community to give our political representatives the tools to counter the lies of the opposition. Obviously we failed to do so. I guess when you already have your own rights protections in place, doing the hard work to protect other people's rights - promises notwithstanding - is just too damned difficult.

Those who voted against this bill MUST be made to pay a political price for their callous disregard for the survival of gender variant people in New York. Senator Lanza, from Staten Island, especially, for changing his vote. Will the Empire State Pride Agenda work to exact that price? Probably not, or not too hard, if the past is any indication. GENDA has always been their red headed stepchild. The same senators who voted no also voted against marriage equality however, so maybe they'll be targeted on that basis. And in the mean time? More fear, more stress, more poverty, more crime and more egregious harm for the gender variant gay, lesbian, straight and bisexual people in most of New York State.

Update: Video of todays meeting is up.

Time to push, and HARD!

2010-06-07T17:31:00.000-07:00

My friend, Patti J. from Buffalo, sent this to me and I'd like to pass it on as far and wide as I can. If you live in New York State, please take 5 minutes to call your state senator and tell them to support S2406, the Gender Expression Nondiscrimination Act.

GENDA is moving in the Senate – call your Senator NOW!

You are receiving this email because the Gender Expression Non-Discrimination Act (GENDA) is on the Senate Judiciary Committee's agenda for tomorrow morning (Tuesday, June 8, 2010). This vital civil rights bill will make it illegal to discriminate against transgender New Yorkers in areas like employment, housing and public accommodations, and expand hate crimes protections to explicitly include gender identity and expression. Your Senator is a member of the Judiciary Committee and has the power to pass GENDA out of the committee and onto the Senate floor for a full vote.

We need you to get on the phone and call your Senator at their Albany office RIGHT NOW and tell them that you want them to pass GENDA in the Judiciary Committee. It is vital that they hear from you TODAY.

Here's how to make your call:

1. Enter your address to find your State Senator's Albany phone number here.
2. Tell your Senator: "I support the GENDA bill (S.2406). Please pass GENDA from the Judiciary Committee onto the floor for a full Senate vote."
Your voice is crucial! Make your call now!

The gender variant gay, lesbian, straight and bi people of New York State have been waiting for this far too long already. We have never come this close with this bill until now. We need to get this one passed, please donate some of your time to make that call. Thank you!

A baby step, perhaps

2010-05-31T06:04:00.000-07:00

Senator Stachowski's office still couldn't confirm his commitment last Friday when I called. GENDA has moved from the Investigations and Government Operations committee to the Judiciary Committee so I guess that can be counted as progress, although I'd quantify it as a baby step. The following is the test of the letter I wrote to my state senator:

May 28, 2010

Senator Catherine Young

Room 513

Legislative Office Building

Albany, New York 12247

Dear Sen. Young,

I’d like to thank you for sending me a letter last March 25 replying to my telephone call regarding the Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act (GENDA, S2406). Since action on this bill is becoming more imminent, I’d like to address the point you raised about this bill.

Your letter stated, “Senate Bill 2406 would open all public accommodations, including restrooms, high school locker rooms, health clubs, dorm rooms and other single sex residential facilities like homeless and family violence shelters to both biological genders dependent upon how a person chooses to self identify.” I‘m troubled with how you singled out public accommodations, particularly those that are separated by sex. First of all, the bill is also about preventing unfair and harmful employment and housing discrimination. I guess I should be encouraged that you have no issue with two thirds of the bill’s scope, however, your point makes little sense when I consider that transgender people already use public restrooms and other facilities based on their gender identity and expression. Indeed, there’s nothing in the law now that prevents them from doing so. In addition, the bill’s language does not prevent the formulation of reasonable regulations and processes designed to minimize disruption and maximize the dignified and respectful treatment of all people in other areas where our culture separates us by sex. Finally, I’d like to remind you of the 13 states and over 100 counties, cities and towns (including Buffalo, Rochester, Albany and New York City) that have similar laws. The first one was passed in 1976, in Minneapolis, 34 years ago! The predicted negative consequences, such as the ridiculous assertion that predators will use such laws to get away with gaining entry to women only spaces and commit crimes, have never been shown to happen. The presence or absence of a nondiscrimination law does nothing to prevent or encourage criminal activity nor does the presence of such a law excuse it.

With the latest news showing that Senator Stachowski has pledged to vote yes on this bill I’d like you to publicly pledge a yes vote as well. I would like you to affirm the American ideal that discriminating against someone because of who they are and what they look like, rather than what they do and how they do it, violates their civil rights. I would like you to pledge a yes vote for all of the gender variant people who live in your district. You might be surprised how many of us there are, because we can still be legally discriminated against in New York we tend to hide in order to avoid the harm that discrimination can wreak on our lives.

My personal experience has been impacted by the absence of this non discrimination law. I have been unemployed for almost a year and a half now, and have been refused a chance for a position with a former local employer that I was very qualified for because of my gender identity and the steps I have taken to accommodate it in the past. The absence of this law causes real harm to real people. Please do what you can to repair this problem. Publicly pledge and vote YES on S2406.

Sincerely,

Unfortunately, I doubt this'll work but I can't not try.

Is it finally going to pass?

2010-05-27T08:52:00.001-07:00

I read a very good piece of news this morning which, if accurate, illustrates a very good chance that the Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act (GENDA) will pass and be signed into law this year! According to the Housing Works, an organization, "committed to ending the twin crises of AIDS and homelessness,"Senator Bill Stachowski of the 58th NY Senate district (which includes the city of Buffalo) has committed to voting yes on GENDA. That brings the number of committed yes votes to 32, the minimum required to pass the bill.

I am very grateful to Senator Stachowski for making this commitment, especially in light of his active opposition to same sex marriage rights, something I think he's wrong about. My senator, Catherine Young (57th district), is sadly not part of the list of those who will vote yes. In a written reply to a phone call I made to her office regarding this bill (S2406) she took the opposition's tactic, one that has no evidence behind it, of making it all about bathroom and locker room access without acknowledging the complete absence of evidence that similar laws have caused problems in such spaces (well, maybe some problems for those who would like to hold on to their supposed special right to discriminate against people that make them feel icky). She also ignores the real issues GENDA is designed to correct: harmful and prejudicial discrimination on the basis of gender identity and expression in employment, housing and public accommodations. I'll write her office again with hopes to convince her of her error. We'll see if she supports prejudice and discrimination or not.

The Housing Works blog mentions a June 1st lobby day but doesn't provide much specific information about that., only a contact name, email and phone number. The don't mention Buffalo or any other western New York locality so I wonder if I'll have a chance to go. I also note that nothing about this is on the Empire State Pride Agenda website nor have I heard any announcement from them yet. I've emailed them for confirmation/comment.

Stay tuned! This thing could be HUGE!!

UPDATE: I emailed ESPA and they don't seem to know anything about this. I also called Sen Stachowski’s office in Albany and was unable to get confirmation of his commitment to vote YES on S2406. His receptionist mentioned his previous opposition, and yeah, she talked about bathroom predators using the law to get away with crimes (sheesh!) but I reminded her that was just scare mongering and that such things have never happened in the places that already have similar laws. So, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see!

Let's get it moving!

2010-05-23T09:26:00.000-07:00

With ENDA getting closer and closer to death's door, these statewide nondiscrimination laws become all that much more important. H1728 in Massachusetts, GENDA in New York, the trans inclusive bills in Wisconsin, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Nevada, Maryland and Delaware ALL need to be fought for. They need to be fought for BEFORE marriage equality (in the states where is isn't the law already) so that TBLG people can be assured of a fair chance at employment because they need it for survival's sake and because an employed person has more economic power to support the fight for equal protections and equal treatment for all of the other issues that affect their community.

I've been unemployed now for 17 months. At least one job opportunity has been denied me because of who I am, never mind that I was extremely well qualified for the job. I'm sure other opportunities have been lost because of discrimination as well - I've sent out hundreds of applications - but this is one that I am certain was denied me because of trans/homophobia and misogyny. This harmful discrimination is legal in New York State, Massachusetts and in 36 other states in a country whose ideal is supposed to be equal protections for all people, not just the "right" people.

The cowardly politicians will never move on these laws as long as they hear more from the radical (ie fascist) "religious" right wing than they hear from the GLTB and allied communities. We have to drown out the hateful propaganda from groups like the "Traditional Values Coalition," "Focus on the Family," "MassResistence" or the "New Yorkers for Constitutional Freedoms" and the only way to do that is to get off your inertia, pick up the phone or a pen and call/write/visit your legislative representatives to tell them how important these bills are and how egregiously wrong their opponents are. Most people support equality when the whole truth is given to them but they won't get it if we stay silent.

Speak out for your community!

Speak out for your GLBT friends and family!

Speak out for yourself!

It's about LOVE

2010-05-18T13:22:00.000-07:00

A cartoon I did a couple of years ago, inspired by all the idiocy about bathrooms when gender identity inclusive laws are being discussed. I was going to use it in the Buffalo Pride parade that year, for the float built by one of my support groups, the Transgender Couples of Western New York, but the float never came to fruition. The group will again have a table at this year's Pride parade in Buffalo, June 6th, and barring any adverse act of G*d I'll be there. Stop by, say hello, and buy a bottle of water for a good cause!

Bathroom paranoia coming to New York

2010-05-12T17:00:00.001-07:00

A recent article by Charlie Butts, at the inadequately named "OneNewsNow" (it should be named "OneSidedNewsNow") tells us that the Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act (GENDA) which has been languishing in a New York State Senate committee, will "soon" be coming up for consideration. I wonder how he knows this, perhaps he has sources unavailable to me, but what I was told is that GENDA wouldn't be considered until after the budget mess was cleaned up. Since the state budget is now more than 40 days overdue, with no progress in evidence, I'd imagine he might be exaggerating just a bit. On the other hand, if one uses the logic that the more overdue something becomes, the more likely it will be settled soon, he may have something.

Of course, being a "religious" right wing pundit, Mr. Butts immediately launched into the favored tactic of fear mongering based on imagined horrors that "could" happen in public restrooms. Like his compatriots in Massachusetts, he called GENDA a "Bathroom Bill" and like his compatriots everywhere, he is making things up to scare people.

Mr Butts mentions Jason McGuire, executive director of New Yorkers for Constitutional Freedoms (whom we can thank for the lovely graphic about GENDA), who maintains that, "It (GENDA) would open all public accommodations, including restrooms and high school locker rooms, to both biological genders if an individual chooses to identify his or herself as the opposite sex. So, your [readers] should think of things like cross-dressers, transvestites or even potential child molesters who are just looking to get access to those facilities."

This would be funny if it weren't so harmfully idiotic. How are people kept out of inappropriate restrooms now? Of course neither Mr McGuire or Mr Butts address this question because it would illuminate the intellectual bankruptcy of their position. Never mind, they seem to ask us, that public restrooms are already open to anyone who wishes to walk into one, no matter which gender they are presenting as. Never mind, they insist, that inappropriate behavior anywhere, especially in public restrooms, is against the law and will remain so after GENDA is passed. Pay no attention, they apparently demand, that similar laws exist in 13 states, Washington DC and over 100 counties, cities and towns - including New York City, Albany, Rochester and Buffalo - with NONE of the doomsday scenarios they are broadly hinting at in evidence at all.

In my previous blog post I noted that this tactic has failed more than once. Yet the supporters of harmful discrimination still use it. I guess the reason they keep resurrecting this failed strategy is that they have nothing else to replace it with, which is indicative of the vacuous nature of their argument.

They got nuthin' and they knows it!

GENDA has passed twice in the State Assembly already. Not one of the assembly members who voted yes on this bill has paid any political price that I know of. This kind of nondiscrimination law has scored majority support in more than one poll of New York's citizens. If the state's legislature can finally get their shit together and pass a budget and if the "HRC-Jr" Empire State Pride Agenda can shut up about marriage equality for a few weeks, this bill can and should be made law.

A Win!

2010-04-13T10:21:00.000-07:00

At 1:45am today, the Missoula, Montana city council voted 10-2 to approve the addition of sexual orientation and gender identity to their existing nondiscrimination law. Good for them! I think I may just send them a couple dozen cookies as a token of gratitude!

This victory for equal protections - despite the tired worn out fear mongering the opposition inflicted upon the citizens of Missoula - is another sign that fairness and equality are gaining ground in the US of A, albeit too slowly for my taste. I also noted two other observations regarding this victory.

The first is that the old "male predators in bathrooms" tactic that the far right asshats like to use when gender identity is included in any kind of legislation has stopped working as consistently as they would like. This is the third time now that this tactic was used, previously the fight in Gainesville, FL and Kalamazoo, MI included the same lies, and all three times it's made no difference in the outcomes. I'm sure it's way too early to sound the well deserved death knell for this scurrilous tactic but I am cheered by the thought that the opponents of equal protections under the law will have to think twice before using it again.

The second observation notes that the three instances in which nondiscrimination bills passed despite the "men in ladies bathrooms" fiction all included BOTH sexual orientation and gender identity. Protections for gender variant people weren't dropped for expediency's sake, with the empty promise incremental progress made to gender variant people. I also note that trans people, in too many places that have sexual orientation in their nondiscrimination laws but do not include gender identity, are still waiting. States like Wisconsin, and New York, Connecticut, Massachusetts and New Hampshire are egregious examples of this. In Wisconsin, gender variant people have been waiting in vain for the GLB organizations to help them win equality since 1982!

We all need to remember these facts in the fight for the Employment Non Discrimination Act (ENDA) that will soon be coming up in Congress. We need to remember that this bill covers both sexual orientation AND gender identity. We need to remember that inclusive bills CAN be passed and we need to remember that dropping trans protections means denying trans people vital job protections for a very long time. Above all, we need to remember that fighting the "bathroom predators" meme works! Presenting the truth in the face of the advocates of discrimination and harm works! They can be beaten if we do the work.

Your participation is VITAL!

2010-04-04T18:14:00.000-07:00

Last week I shared with you an open letter to Speaker Nancy Pelosi from Cleve Jones, a pioneering equal rights activist featured in the film "MILK," creator of the AIDS Memorial Quilt, and Senior Advisor to the Courage Campaign. He asked that Speaker Pelosi move the Employment Non-Discrimination Act to the House floor for a vote.

This is a VITAL piece of legislation for the TBLG community, especially in the face of so many states - New York is one of them, of course - being unwilling to pass similar bill. While it isn't what we really need, full inclusion in the Civil Rights Act of 1964, it is a huge deal for all of us who can't find a job because of our gender expression or who live in fear of being outed at work because we know we'd be fired if we were.

More than 16,000 of you have signed on already - can you add your name before we hand-deliver the petition next week?

Dear Speaker Nancy Pelosi

With health care legislation passing, now is the time to institute workplace protections for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people by passing the Employment Non-Discrimination Act. Rep. Tammy Baldwin says she believes that we have the votes to pass ENDA, and Rep. George Miller has said the bill is ready to come out of committee now that the health care bill has passed. As Speaker of the House of Representatives, we call on you to act boldly and decisively and bring ENDA to the floor for a vote now.

Not just a coincidence

2010-04-03T08:33:00.001-07:00

It's funny how two seemingly unrelated combined ingredients can affect the taste, for better or worse, of a particular recipe, even when by themselves they wouldn't have the same effect. In skimming the previous two posts I've written here I was struck by a remarkable relationship between the two. I thought I'd put that relationship in a clearer light.

I'm talking about Dale O'Leary's characterization of trans people of being susceptible to narcissistic rage, defined as the,

…need for revenge, for righting a wrong, for undoing a hurt by whatever means, and deeply anchored, unrelenting compulsion in the pursuit of all these aims… There is utter disregard for reasonable limitations and a boundless wish to redress an injury and to obtain revenge… The fanaticism of the need for revenge and the unending compulsion of having to square the account after an offense…The narcissistically injured… cannot rest until he has blotted out [the] … offender who dared to oppose him, to disagree with him.

Now this, a synopsis of the Ticked Off Tr***ys With Knives movie, from the IMDb site"

A group of tr***ies are violently bashed and left for dead. The surviving ladies regain consciousness, confidence, and courage ready to seek out revenge on the ones who attacked them.

Kinda interesting juxtaposition there, innit? It seems to me that these two very different occurrences have tapped into the same kind of fear and loathing that is part of the social fabric regarding trans people today, the idea that trans people are vengeful, mentally unstable and dangerous. It can be validly argued then, that the title of the film and its synopsis, which are the only parts of the film that the majority of Americans will ever see, play into the same fear and loathing that is used by those who defend oppression and harm against gender variant people as a political tool. When you consider the fear mongering in screeds like Dale O'Leary's or this one from the Traditional Values Coalition:

President Barack Obama and Congressional Democrats are quietly rushing through legislation (H.R. 3017 & S. 1584) that would actually bring cross-dressing teachers into your child’s classroom. Under the so-called, Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), your children will be trapped in classes taught by drag queens and transgender activists. Students will be indoctrinated that “alternative lifestyles” are no different than traditional lifestyles. Young children will be forced to learn about bizarre sexual fetishes – and you will have no say in the matter.

Along with the age old "male predators in bathrooms" lie,

By the stroke of a very powerful pen, County Executive Leggett has broken the biological barriers that separate male and female facilities. No longer will women and girls be able to feel completely safe in the most private and personal bathroom and locker facilities of schools, public pools, malls, stores, health clubs, restaurants and other such public places throughout the county. County Executive Ike Leggett signed Bill 23-07, the outrageous legislation that may result in forcing even religious schools to hire transgender teachers; and then also allow cross-dressing but biological males in your daughter’s school locker room.

It seems plain that Israel Luna's film is related in a very disturbing way.

Aside from the pejorative in the title, and the egregious use of murdered trans people as a marketing tool, this movie's tapping into the fearful ignorance of our culture when it regards trans people is what bothers me most. Israel Luna is using the same kind of hateful stereotypes that are used to deny trans people their civil rights and thereby promulgate those stereotypes' supposed validity. Then he and many of his defenders add insult to injury by accusing those who oppose his miserable trash as being "angry" and "unreasonable."

I think Israel Luna's film is wrong and hurtful on a lot more levels than just it's marketing. I think its very premise is based in transphobia and misogyny. Our community is right in protesting this travesty.

More clueless exploitation of trans lives

2010-03-26T08:30:00.000-07:00

I spent a good portion of the day, yesterday, reading and commenting in various locations around the internet about the movie, "Ticked-Off Trannies With Knives," that has been scheduled to run during the upcoming Tribeca Film Festival. The film, initially because of its offensive title and cruelly insensitive trailer and now because of its insensitive content, has generated a huge storm of protest from the trans community. The usual backlash against the trans community's outrage, from many gay men as well as others, has been as vile as it has been clueless.

The main criticisms of this film, its exploitation of a very vulnerable and still all too marginalized group, its inaccurate and demeaning caricature of trans women and their lives and the use of the word "tr***y"that many of us (myself included) find as offensive as the racial epithet thrown at Rep Carl Lewis last week, are described and well criticized by other, more knowledgeable, writers than I. One thing I've noticed though, is that the question of why the film is so badly written in the first place that it creates such a negative storm of criticism hasn't really been answered. I think I know why.

One of the first things I've learned about writing is that you had better write about things you really know if you want it to be any good. Writing about things you aren't well versed in produces bad art, causes all sorts of problems with inaccuracies and poor characterizations and generally produces mediocre, if not completely trashed, work. Israel Luna, the writer, producer and director of this film is gay. He's a cissexual, cisgender man. Yet this movie is about transsexuals, drag queens, women. Obviously he's so clueless about these groups of people, their reality is so foreign to him, that his work sinks to imagined caricatures. His insensitivity, transphobia and misogyny are thus plainly illustrated because he simply did not know any better and are exacerbated by his low budget, slapdash method, filming it in only 18 days.

A hint that he didn't, and still doesn't, know better comes from his reaction to the controversy.

"Luna wasn’t expecting this kind of backlash.

'I didn’t think that it would be such a topical thing or an issue, but we’ve been getting stuff about the name, the title, and using the word ‘tranny.’ And then there are people who are like, is it right to do an eye-for-an-eye kind of thing?” he says of the film’s critics. “When I was first writing the script, I just wanted to do an old-fashioned revenge movie. This group of people gets bashed. They come back for revenge. Done.'

Luna is puzzled somewhat by the controversy because the main theme of the film is empowerment, not victimhood — and certainly not mocking the trans characters."

Puzzled!?! His Male privilege, his Cissexual privilege and his Gay privilege all combine to shield him from the truth of trans people's lives. These privileges keeps him from knowing the truth of women's lives as well. Of course he's puzzled when trans women are furious over his caricaturization of the real pain and challenges from trans misogyny and transphobia they have to face every day. He obviously has no idea!

His marketing of the film was designed to produce the same morbid fascination, fear and loathing that the anti-trans political groups use against the entire TLBG community in their propaganda. Morbid fascination, fear and loathing that has its roots in transphobia and misogyny. Autumn Sandeen noted in her diary at Pam's House Blend that there are too many similarities between an image of this movie to the kinds of images used by hate groups such as MassResistance and the Traditional Values Coalition in their hateful propaganda against full political equality for the whole BGTL community. The most egregious example of Luna's perfidy, however, was his use of the names of two very real trans women who were brutally murdered last year, with no thought given to the triggering this tactic might engage in the trans community and the victims' families and friends.

A facebook page promoting a boycott and a petition drive has been launched to demand the film be removed from the Tribeca Film Festival schedule. The festival organizers have so far refused to consider doing so. Protests will undoubtedly be organized. I wish I could be there but the finances won;t allow it. I signed the petition, I urge everyone who reads this to do so as well.

2010-03-24T10:00:00.001-07:00

It’s officially spring outside my kitchen! The crocus are blooming, the daffodils are coming up and I saw a robin for the first time this year last Monday. Of all the seasons, Spring gives me the most joy with it’s resurgence of life and the beauty of nature waking up. I’ve started to clean up the flower beds outside and started some seeds – rosemary and parsley – to augment my existing herb garden. Gotta have good stuff to cook in the kitchen!

Of course, in our generally bipolar world there’s ugliness too. A recent example: a hateful and untruthful screed written by another extremist Catholic (if only Paul McHugh were the only one!) Dale O’Leary, on the PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays) blogsite. She writes about the “deception” that trans people perform on society and how the non discrimination laws that protect us should not be passed because of that. She goes on to list discredited and vile “research” from the National Association for Research and Therapy for Homosexuality (NARTH) and the hateful Blanchard/Bailey/Lawrence “theory” of autogynephilia. She then expands her vicious attack on trans identified people by accusing them – only some, she says but then continues to generalize about the whole population – of being susceptible to narcissistic rage, defined as the,

…need for revenge, for righting a wrong, for undoing a hurt by whatever means, and deeply anchored, unrelenting compulsion in the pursuit of all these aims… There is utter disregard for reasonable limitations and a boundless wish to redress an injury and to obtain revenge… The fanaticism of the need for revenge and the unending compulsion of having to square the account after an offense…The narcissistically injured… cannot rest until he has blotted out [the] … offender who dared to oppose him, to disagree with him.

This venomous work has it all. It’s a primer on how the “religious” right anti-gay establishment propagandizes against trans people. Bogus, one sided and biased “scientific” evidence, dehumanization, pathologization, fear mongering and calls for reparative therapy all designed to make trans people look like mentally deranged sub-humans who need to be eliminated from social, cultural and legal acceptance via “treatment” (which is code for mental institutions, electroshock and torturous aversion therapy). The kind of rhetoric that practically screams at the simple minded and violence prone portion of her audience to go out and commit hate crimes, to “cleanse” society of this dangerous and unstable population. Ms O’Leary seems to be made of the same cloth as Dr Paul McHugh. Old, rigid and blindly prejudiced against any variation from the gender binary promoted by the Catholic Church, she can’t help, apparently, but write lies and distortions designed to support her prejudicial animosity against those who violate her sense of what men, women and sex ought to be. The fact that she is supporting bad science and misinformation doesn’t seem to be a problem for her. The fact that her rhetoric promotes oppression and harmful discrimination - even violence - is ignored. I think she needs to go away and follow in the tracks of all the other dinosaurs that have preceded her.

Blogswarm: Demand LGBT Employment Rights Today

2010-03-18T08:16:00.000-07:00

While I hold no illusions as to the reach of this blog I cannot but add my voice, however faint, to the roar of support the Employment Non Discrimination Act (ENDA, HR 3017) is getting today in the blogosphere. With the continuing delays in Albany for the Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act (GENDA) this bill is vital to New York's gender variant community as well as for all of us around the country. Especially now, when the NY legislature is all wrapped up in the budget mess, GENDA will be ignored for at least until afterward, and even longer if (as I suspect) it's used as a bargaining chip in that debate.

Employment protections for the BTLG always seem to be the last item on everyone's list but our own. One of the many reasons is because we have so few voices in our capitols. So few of us seem to be willing to make that phone call or send that email in order to agitate for our due. For many of us a big reason we don't is fear, fear of being outed and suffering the consequences of being outed among which are being fired from our jobs because we don't have any recourse to that kind of legal discrimination against us. Our political opponents, those who wish to force us off the map of social inclusion, know this and that's why they fight so hard against it. If we have jobs we feel safe in, we can then contribute all the more easily to the fight for marriage and immigrant reform and all the other issues that concern us but we can't even start if we are chronically un- or underemployed or afraid we will lose our livelihood if we speak out.

ENDA would be a big first step then to all of the other equality measures we are fighting for. We need to make our voices heard. We don't have to come out to do this either, we can call, voice our support for ENDA and leave it at that - our orientation or gender identity do not have to be mentioned. It may help to talk about those things if you feel comfortable about it but it certainly isn't a requirement.

So we need to call Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, to ask her to give the go ahead for this bill to be marked up and sent to the floor of the house and if your representative isn't yet a cosponsor or a vocal supporter of ENDA you need to call them too. Ms Peolsi's number is 202-225-4965 I keep getting a busy signal and I will keep trying until I get through.

From Jillian Weiss, at The Bilerico Project:

Will you join with us in asking that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people be protected from job discrimination?

Please call Speaker Nancy Pelosi at 202-225-4965. Ask that the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, HR 3017, move to a vote.

Please be polite, but firm.

After you call, please tell us how the call went by clicking here. If you get a busy signal or hang up, let us know that too.

If you want more information on Speaker Pelosi's position on ENDA as stated by her office, you can find it here

Let's work together to let Speaker Pelosi know that we want action now!

Let's call and call and then call again - we need to be a thorn in her side about this, otherwise she'll think she can still safely ignore us. Please, do it now!

2010-03-16T09:56:00.001-07:00

With apologies to William Carlos Williams,

so much depends
upon
the red lip
stick
inside the old
sock
In the back of the
drawer.

2010-03-11T07:54:00.001-08:00

Hi again! The kitchen is a bit warmer today, temperatures have been moderating and the sun has actually been shining more often than not since last Saturday! Truly a refreshing experience in western New York state! Our pleasure in the milder weather is tempered, however, by the latest tactic from those ever lovin' "Christians" of the Traditional Values Coalition (TVC) against the federal Employment Non Discrimination Act (ENDA). They have published a new website titled "endahurtskids dot com" and have filled its front page (I didn't have the stomach to go further, if there are other pages) with this (emphasis theirs):

President Barack Obama and Congressional Democrats are quietly rushing through legislation (H.R. 3017 & S. 1584) that would actually bring cross-dressing teachers into your child’s classroom. Under the so-called, Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), your children will be trapped in classes taught by drag queens and transgender activists. Students will be indoctrinated that “alternative lifestyles” are no different than traditional lifestyles. Young children will be forced to learn about bizarre sexual fetishes – and you will have no say in the matter. It is already happening in some states and concerned parents can’t do a thing about it – until now. This radical bill goes too far. That’s why the Traditional Values Coalition is standing in strong opposition to ENDA. Sign our petition . . .

As in the past, this "Christian values" based organization has resorted to hysteria, distortions, sexual innuendo and outright lies to promote the continued harmful discrimination against the gender variant citizens of our country. Look at the rhetoric they use, ". . . your children will be trapped in classes . . ." and, ". . . indoctrinated that 'alternative lifestyles' are no different from traditional lifestyles." They go on with, "Young children will be forced to learn about bizarre sexual fetishes . . ." All of this rhetoric designed to frighten, to create knee jerk reaction and to stop any kind of rational thought.

They do this, of course, because any rational thought applied to their issue would show what kind of batshit crazy they're peddling here. They know that kids won't be "indoctrinated" into anything they aren't taught now because of this bill. The know that children are pretty much "trapped" in classes already by truancy laws that have nothing to do with federal civil rights protections. They're fully aware that alternative lifestyles are already discussed in an age appropriate manner and that teachers are responsible professionals who would not discuss inappropriate subjects in their classes such as "sexual fetishes." They ignore that trans people are already teachers and that ENDA covers gay, lesbian and bisexual people too, who are also teachers and educators with absolutely no evidence of any harm to children.

This kind of fear mongering is typical from this group. They have accordingly been designated as a hate group by the Southern Policy Law Center. They routinely use insulting and degrading terms for trans people and make up lies about them in order to deny civil rights protections for the entire GTBL community. I am personally acquainted, by the way, to two western NY teachers that have transitioned from male to female within the last 2 years. They report, with confirmation from objective sources, that the kids were a bit curious at first but very tolerant and accepting afterward. It was, they told me, the parents and the local "family" organizations that made trouble. TCV ignores these facts and level ridiculously scary but untrue charges designed to frighten people away from the facts and reality. And then they call themselves "Christian."

ENDA is about protecting people's civil rights. It adds basic employment protections for LTBG people to laws that already give these protections, and more, based on sex, national origin, ethnicity and religion - immutable characteristics and chosen lifestyles. Most people I've spoken with are surprised these protections aren't already in place! They support this law and have said so in national and state polls over and over again. ENDA needs to be passed, our representatives need to hear from people that they support the bill and the president, who has promised to do so, should sign the law as soon as it hits his desk.

GENDA³

2010-03-05T08:34:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday, March 2nd, the New York State Assembly has passed the Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act (GENDA) for the third year in a row. The tally was 91-40, with bi-partisan support. My local assembly representative, William Parment, bless his heart, voted yes all three times but for the third year in a row the bill goes to the Senate with questions about how much support it would receive there.

My local state senator, Catherine Young (good Catholic girl that she is) has consistently come out and voted against civil marriage equality for same sex couples. After three trips to Albany to lobby for TBGL issues I have yet to meet her in person. The last time my group went to her office we were met by a staffer who had been with her for only a few weeks. He knew nothing about her position on the issues we brought up and seemed a bit out of his depth when we presented our concerns. I suspect we were the first group of GLBT activists he had ever dealt with in his life. Because of her opposition to civil marriage equality and the ignorance of her staffer I suspect she will not support the passage of GENDA. I certainly have never seen anything attributed to her or her office that indicates her position so I'll assume she's opposed based on her other votes.

I was surprised to read that, "Its unclear what sort of support the legislation will enjoy in the Senate." We were assured last year, before the senate's meltdown and the ill fated and ill advised marriage vote, that the votes were there for passage in the senate. Yet now we hear they aren't sure. All I can think is that the support for GENDA was squandered away in the push towards marriage equality. It certainly wouldn't be out of character for the Empire State Pride Agenda and the GLB faction in New York's government to throw gender variant people into the Hudson as a sacrifice to marriage rights or civil rights protections for GLB people.

I suppose we'll soon see how much effort is spent trying to get GENDA passed in the senate. ESPA has announced a "call in lobby day" for the future. I hope it isn't canceled the way the last one was. I'll give Senator Young's office yet another phone call and email. I hope, this time, it works.

I don't hate the "religious" right!

2010-02-27T08:19:00.000-08:00

The "religious" right isn't evil, they just do evil things. I don't hate them, I hate the things they do. I hate the sins they commit: lying, grasping for power, harming people with their actions and words, their pride, arrogance, etc.

I believe they should be pushed to the margins of society, along with their philosophical compatriots, the white supremacists, so the ideals of our country, equality under the law for all deserving citizens, can move forward towards reality.

If they keep committing those sins, I think they should be arrested and imprisoned. They certainly shouldn't be able to marry or have kids - they might infect their kids with their heinous religious beliefs or abuse them by taking them to indocrination programs disguised as summer camps. They should never be allowed to serve in the military (a "religious" right wing person with a gun? Shades of Al Qaida!), or be able to have jobs in places where their coworkers disagree with their militant religious rhetoric. If people see them on the street they ought to show their disgust and approbation by calling them humiliating names and, if they are really being blatant about shoving their hateful practices down the throats of others by proselytizing, by applying the amount of force required to convince them and all their followers to stop.

But really, I don't hate them at all.

Making trouble? Of course!

2010-02-25T05:27:00.000-08:00

Perennial "troublemaker," Antonia D'orsay, has asked the LGTB community a series of questions on The Bilerico Project:

1. Why should the LGBT split apart?

2. Why can't people other trans folk speak out on trans topics?

3. Why should the LGBT stay together?

4. Why should people accept letting trans people go from legislation?

5. Why should people accept letting gay men go from legislation?

6. Why are we all allies to each other instead of part of one another?

7. Why do people think there isn't an LGBT community?

8. Why do people think there is an LGBT community?

9. Why don't we start our own political party?

10. What makes a person part of the problem, instead of part of the solution or someone outside the whole issue?

The first 8 questions have, as an underlying assumption, something that's not true - that there are no trans lesbian and gay people so it's actually possible to split the community along those lines. I can't answer these questions without accepting this assumption, something I cannot do without denying the existence of at least part of who I am.

As far as question 9 is concerned, well, what possible good would it do in the political structure that exists in the United States? Even if it were possible to unite those who hold the extremely divergent political beliefs within the TBGL community it would use up so much energy and have so little beneficial effect on the fight for equality that I think it would be a waste of time.

The last question, #10, "What makes a person part of the problem, instead of part of the solution or someone outside the whole issue?" That one made me stop and wonder. How do I define someone who is part of the problem? How do I define the problem in the first place? I have to do that before I even start to consider the criteria for answering question #10. Is this referring to the problem of unity within the greater GBLT community? Is it the problem of the entire community's political and/or social oppression?

I suspect Ms D'orsay framed these questions in such an ambiguous way on purpose, to explore and expose LBTG people's prejudices and bad assumptions. The Deity knows there are all too many of us that hold such prejudices and bad assumptions, many times without even realizing it. It behooves us to follow the old advice about making the world a better place: Start with the one person you are certain to have control over. Yourself.

Dallas Area Regional Transit throws woman under the bus

2010-02-20T10:19:00.000-08:00

One of the most trying, and frightening aspects of transition for me was having my name changed and then personally having to go to all the organizations, stores, banks, etc. that have records of me, to make the changes in their databases. New York State requires that a legal name change be published in an official legal notice that contains the person's old name, current address and new name before it's finalized. Coming home from work the day mine was published, I half expected to see a mob with torches and pitchforks at my door. Fortunately, no one noticed. Makes me wonder why they call them "legal notices."

A woman in Dallas, an employee of the Dallas Area Regional Transit (DART) system went through a similar process in her state, for a gender marker change instead of a name change, but for her the process didn't turn out as well. Actually, not very well at all. When she went to her employer with the court order asking them to change their records, instead of acquiescing, they went back to court and started the preliminary steps in order to sue, prompting the judge who originally gave the order to rescind it! Just think about this for a minute. Say you had a change done in your life, maybe you got married. Say you went to your employer and asked them to change your last name to your spouse's and update the records to indicate you were married and, instead of complying with your request, your employer went to court which promptly nullified your marriage. How would you feel about that?

This woman had her genital realignment surgery three years earlier. She made compromises with previous transphobic policies that her employer instituted against her. She followed medically established, international, standards of care, willingly went through the legal and common practice for changing her records yet her employer decided she was not qualified to determine how she would be known to the world. And the judge who gave the order rescinded it because of pressure from DART attorneys who used the fact that their nondiscrimination rules prohibited discrimination based on sexual orientation but didn't include gender identity.

This is an example of how cissexual (opposite of transsexual) society negates and oppresses those who are born with the condition known as Gender Identity Disorder. The state told this woman, "I don't care who you say you are. You will be what WE tell you to be!" It also shows the egregious harm that can still happen to gender variant people when, as is the case in New York State, sexual orientation is covered in nondiscrimination rules and laws but gender identity isn't.

It's also a perfect example of why this country need to pass the Employment Non Discrimination Act (ENDA) that is currently in Congress waiting for action. After eight years of waiting, New York is no closer to providing civil rights protections for its gender variant citizens and we surely don;t have to be told that this kind of law won't be passed in Texas anytime soon. ENDA needs to be passed and signed by the president. Sexual orientation and gender identity also need to be specifically added to the groups protected by Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. To do any less is to passively approve what happened to that woman in Dallas and what happens all over the country against people because of who they love and who they are.

How time flies!

2010-02-19T10:21:00.000-08:00

Good golly, it's been two months since I published my last entry!

[snark] I must be having fun, the time has flown by so quickly! [/snark]

To be honest, I find I have numerous ideas about things to write about, things I care about and that about which I believe I have something to say. Then, the second thought is, "Well, someone else has probably written about the same thing, and much better than I ever could," or, "Who would ever really care about what I have to say?" While these are legitimate questions they certainly aren't really good criteria on which to base my decisions about what to write or whether to write anything at all and I find they are just excuses that I make to mask the reality that I just don't feel good enough to do it, or to do it "right." Self-esteem, it appears, is a problem here and I think it's a big problem for many people but for trans people, it's huge.

All my life, I was made to feel inadequate because I could not or did not fulfill the expectations of masculine behavior that my genitalia imposed. It was rarely overt, although that did happen, but it was pervasive although unsaid. That generated a belief in my own general inferiority, one that, looking back, was a big reason for my underachiever status.

So, with the goal of denying the spurious belief in my inferiority I plan to be more active on this blog. I'll work at saying things, even if I believe underneath it all, that I'm screwing it up or that it's unimportant. I will instead just send this stuff out into the ether and let others be the judge and, should they judge it even a little worthwhile, then I will have succeeded.

Lebkuchen á lá Emelye

2009-12-16T07:41:00.000-08:00

Here's a recipe that I developed after researching a number of German Lebkuchen recipes. While this is more like a little cake rather than a crispy cookie, it's flavor is delicate and subtle and meant more for an adult palate, especially if real rum is used in the glaze. Enjoy!

Lebkuchen á lá Emelye

150 g sugar (300 g if not using Splenda)
30 g Splenda (abt 3/4 cup)
1 Tbsn unsulphered Molasses
1 Tbsn Vanilla extract
3 eggs
2 Tbspn Rum or equivalent amount of rum extract
½ tspn ground clove
½ tspn ground cinnamon
½ tspn ground ginger
½ tspn lemon zest
Pinch of Cardamon
60 g candied lemon peel (chopped small, abt 3mm (1/8") chunks)
60 g candied orange peel (chopped small, abt 3mm (1/8") chunks)
275 g finely ground almonds
220 g flour
1½ tspn double acting baking powder

* Cream the eggs, sugar, molasses and vanilla until slightly frothy. Add the spices, zest and rum.
* Stir in the candied peel and ground almonds.
* Gradually sift in the baking powder and flour, mixing until the batter is thick and stiff. Allow the batter to rest ½ hour.
* Using two spoons drop mounds of dough about 2 inches (5 cm) to 3 inches (7½ cm) across onto a parchment lined cookie sheet.
* Garnish with almonds, halved or slivered (doesn’t matter), if desired, and bake in a 350ºF (180ºC) oven for about 15 to 20 minutes or until brown at the edges. (Keep an eye on the first batch, all ovens are different!)

* Frost the cookies with a thin frosting made from powdered sugar and milk flavored with almond extract, lemon juice or rum.

NOTES:

> Makes about 2 ½ to 3 dozen depending on how big ya make ‘em.
> Very sticky batter
> They don’t spread much in the oven, rather, they rise into a dome shape
> 8 cookies per sheet works well

Oh, by the way, our esteemed Governor Paterson has announced today that he will sign an order making discrimination on the basis of gender identity/expression illegal when it is perpetrated against state executive's employees. After hijacking the Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act (GENDA) last April, in favor of same sex marriage legislation, Gov. Paterson has throw the gender variant community some crumbs. Big Deal! This order affects a microscopic portion of the state's trans citizens and for yours truly this is way too little and way too late as well as completely irrelevant.

Thanks again for nothing, Governor! When will the gender variant community in New York State get a REAL advocate in state government?

Marrige equality fails in New York

2009-12-03T06:17:00.000-08:00

The vote was 24 to 38.

In a published statement, Senator Thomas Duane said,

“Today’s vote against Marriage Equality makes me very angry. Promises made were not honored. The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) community, and all fair minded New Yorkers have been betrayed. I am enraged, deeply disappointed and profoundly saddened by the vote today."

I know how he feels. (I've noted that in blog comments here and there and have been accused of holding "sour grapes" in order to trivialize my rage, disappointment and sadness.) The gender variant community in New York State have been feeling that way since before 2002 when the GLB politicos decided to throw us under the bus to pass non discrimination law that covers sexual orientation while excluding gender identity and expression. Broken promises are all we've seen since then. This year is no exception.

In his speech on the Senate floor, Sen. Duane said,

"People have said to me 'now is not the time'. There's always time to be on the right side of history."

But never the right time to truly fight for the gender variant people in New York State, Sen. Duane? Why didn't GENDA (Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act) get onto the extraordinary session agendas? Why didn't you raise hell about that? Why didn't your allies in the Empire State Pride Agenda (ESPA) say anything either?

After June, GENDA disappeared in favor of the marriage equality law in the communiques from the ESPA, the governor and from the state legislature. Somehow, the "coup" attempt by the Republicans in the senate was turned back. Was GENDA sacrificed in a deal in order to get the marriage debate and vote? Such treachery won't be admitted by anyone. We'll never know for sure but it sure looks that way.

The state legislature has gone home until the new session starts next year. It's doubtful Gov. Paterson will call any more extraordinary sessions. I guess it wasn't time yet to "come back" for the trans community. It seems it's never time if the GLB politicos can gain an advantage for themselves by sacrificing gender variant people in New York. The GLB community have had protections for seven years already. Your civil rights are protected, Mr Duane. Mine aren't. And it's apparent you think that's perfectly alright.

New York State Senate Puts Marriage Equality Vote On "Indefinite Hold"

2009-11-11T07:57:00.000-08:00

Marriage equality was not voted on in the New York State Senate yesterday. I am not terribly disappointed.

Because the Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act (GENDA) is STILL being ignored by both the politicians and the Empire State Pride Agenda (ESPA) in favor of marriage legislation. When Gov Paterson introduced the marriage equality legislation last April he effectively doomed GENDA. While ESPA did include GENDA and the NY bullying bills (Dignity for All Students Act) in its lobbying day at the end of April their main efforts for most of the year have been almost exclusive to marriage equality. I dare say, the main impetus behind the coup that the Republicans inflicted upon the NY Senate in June was largely fueled by opposition to the marriage bill. Of course, all other unfinished legislation was thus thrown under the bus too, along with GENDA and DASA.

Until April, the consensus in NY was that marriage quality would be a dead issue for at least this year and that non discrimination and bullying laws that included GLBT kids would be in the forefront. Mr Paterson and the rest of the political system in NY once again, however, have decided that trans people and BLTG kids aren't important enough to even consider when some political hay could be made pandering to the GLB and progressive groups with legislation that was considered unpassable for this legislative season.

Apparently, this isn't over and there have been some assurances made that the vote will be scheduled again. The NY Daily News says ESPA head, Alan Van Capelle expressed satisfaction that his group has the assurance it has sought for a reasonably prompt debate and vote, and Tom Duane (openly gay NY senator) said he was "happy" with the outcome. Of course they are happy! They are cissexual and cisgender people with all the privilege that comes with those identities. They don't have to worry about losing their jobs, being thrown out of their apartments or being denied service in a hotel or restaurant because of who they are.

Like in Massachusetts, Connecticut and New Hampshire, the GLB community in NY apparently still thinks marriage equality is worth throwing gender variant people under the bus. This is on top of the past treachery from 2002 when they supported non-inclusive non discrimination law which then passed. At the time, the trans community was told to wait. To be patient until they could come back to us. When the hell is that going to be? I daresay, unless some fundamental changes are made in both ESPA and the state government, the answer to that is never.

No, dammit! I will NOT call my senator about same sex marriage!!

2009-10-24T08:16:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is nearing the end October and I haven't visited with you in months! It has been a relatively uneventful summer so there was little to get me going enough to write about. The leaves are now falling and the days have been cool and generally wet. Winter is just around the corner.

One thing that kept me busy was my involvement with the Rainbow Pride Connection LGTB Conference at Chautauqua Institution, in Chautauqua, New York. The conference was quite a success, with almost 100 people attending (140 people attended the lovely concert given by the Buffalo Gay Men's Chorus), and plans are underway to have another conference next October 2nd.

I received an email a week ago from the Empire State Pride Agenda (ESPA) asking me to contact my state senator to ask her to support same sex marriage equality. Pretty much all New Yorkers are aware of the idiotic stalemate that was induced by a Republican power grab last June in the New York State Senate. What they may not be aware of is that the stalemate prevented the upcoming vote on the Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act (GENDA) as well as the vote on marriage equality for same sex couples. Since that time the governor, David Paterson, has called a few special sessions of the Senate in order to take care of urgent business that was neglected. What has been conspicuously missing from these sessions has been any talk about these two important civil rights measures.

What has been conspicuously missing from ESPA's public statements is GENDA. All I hear, again, are requests to lobby for same sex marriage rights. The governor himself has mentioned them yet GENDA is nowhere to be seen! What the hell is going on? It seems a repeat of the 2002 Sexual Orientation Non Discrimination Act (SONDA) is happening once again. Transgender people are being ignored, being thrown off the bus once again! Does anyone think the GLB community will devote the resources that are needed to pass GENDA after they get marriage equality along with their 7 year old inclusion in New York's nondiscrimination and hate crimes law? Look what happened in Massachusetts. It's been 5 long years since the GLB community received marriage equality there yet the transgender population is still without basic protections. They currently have legislation pending in their legislature to remedy this but I haven't heard anything about it in months. Obviously, it isn't the priority that marriage equality was.

The New York State transgender community was told to wait their turn, to wait until the GLB community came back for them. Here we are seven years later, still waiting and watching while so many political resources are drained on an issue which, while it's certainly important, does nothing to enhance the quality and even survivability of life for the transgender community. This cannot continue. I will call my state senator (Cathy Young) again, even though she has come out publicly against same sex marriage rights, and I will ask her to support GENDA and if there is enough time, to support marriage equality. I cannot wait any longer for basic civil rights protections. WE NEED GENDA FIRST!

I sent the following email to Governor Patterson via his website. I urge all of you to join me in this effort:

Dear Gov. Paterson,

I am appalled by your recent promotion of same sex marriage rights while transgender individuals such as myself still lack the basic civil rights protections we so desperately need and which would be awarded by the passage of the Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act.

We need you to point out that being married to your same sex sweetheart is of little use if you can still be legally thrown out of your apartment, fired from your job and denied services in the public sphere because you don't fit within someone else's idea of what gender you ought to be or look like. While same sex marriage equality is important, non discrimination law that includes gender identity and expression is vital. It's a matter of survival for a great many New Yorkers.

Please use your position to promote GENDA first. Once that's done, marriage equality will be just as easy as it is now to pass. If marriage equality comes first, I fear transgender New Yorkers will NEVER see the protection they so desperately need.

Thank you,

Jamestown, New York

NYS Gov. calls special session of the Senate, #1 priority is Same Sex Marriage, GENDA is ignored

2009-06-23T21:33:00.000-07:00

Gov. David Paterson, of New York, has issued a proclamation calling the NYS Senate into special session tomorrow, Wednesday, June 24th. The proclamation lists same sex civil marriage as its first priority. The Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act, GENDA, is nowhere to be found.

Once again, gender variant people in New York State have been shoved under the bus, as I feared as soon as Gov. Paterson introduced same sex marriage legislation back on April 16th. In an apparent repeat of the legislative violence trans people suffered in 2002, we have been forgotten. I'm sure we'll be told again that we just need to be patient, that the GLB community will "come back" for us. I'm also convinced if same sex marriage equality becomes law in New York, the state's femme gay men and the butch lesbian women, along with the transsexual people, the genderqueer people, the straight but feminine men and the straight but butch women, will have to wait until the unlikely event that the federal government and the GLB lobbyists who ~~want~~ need donation generating victories above all else, decides we are worth the trouble of consideration.

I believe this will happen because once marriage equality becomes law in New York, the financial support and political will necessary to pass a trans inclusive set of laws in the state will wither away. I'm sure the leadership of the GLB(t) organizations will hasten to assure us that protecting gender variant people is the next fight on the list. After all, they need issues to justify their continuing existence but once marriage equality is achieved, what large issues are left for the GLB community in NY? Few, if any, that I can see.

I will never be so selfish as to advocate for the defeat of the civil marriage rights bill in New York because GENDA is still not law. I am a lesbian as well as trans woman and I know this is important for our community. I won't, can't, leave the GLBT community and I'm afraid it will leave me.

Justice for Teish and all trans people

2009-06-15T07:17:00.000-07:00

I read a good article in Transgriot the other day, pointing out the egregious lack of media coverage for the trial of Dwight DeLee who is accused of murdering Lateisha Green in Syracuse, NY. In comparison to the media spotlight, comparatively speaking, that was aimed at the Angie Zapata murder trial in Colorado, this trial has almost become a nonevent. And that's a shame because this trial highlights a district attorney who is trying to make a hate crimes murder case against someone in a state that doesn't include gender identity and expression in its hate crimes laws.

DeLee's attorney, Clarence Johnson, has already tried and failed to remove the hate crimes designation as unconsitutional. Thank goodness Onondaga County Judge William Welsh saw the ploy as the desperate attempt it was and ruled against it. So far, it hasn't come up, as far as I know, but I have some more misgivings about this case. I fear that the defense will not only use the "trans panic" excuse in one form or another but will also try to remove the hate crime charge by pointing out that Teish was a trans woman and that she was therefore not covered by existing New York hate crimes law.

The potential success of such an argument in a state where marriage equality legislation has once again eclipsed the fight for equal protection for trans people would add yet another injury to the insults the trans community experience in New York. We need to remind those in power how the message sent to the TLBG community in the Syracuse region by the murderer affects all of us and not just the unfortunate family of the victim. We need to write and call the local Syracuse media whose clueless coverage reinforces the ignorant perception of those who are trying to deal with a rare but treatable medical condition as being mentally ill, repugnant to normal humanity and deserving of such violent treatment.

I hope and pray that the circumstances of the case make it impossible for Mr DeLee's attorney to argue against the hate crimes addition on the basis of Ms Green's gender identity and I also hope and pray that the New York State Senate will move S2406, the Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act (GENDA), out of committee, onto the Senate floor and onto the Governor's desk for his promised signature. This year, before marriage equality.

The Right Wing Press

2009-06-02T09:53:00.000-07:00

The one daily newspaper in my area is geared toward the Republican party. Of that there can be no doubt. This is most evident in the kinds of letters they choose to publish in their print version. I think they try to publish the most radical and inflammatory rhetoric they get in order to make their own editorials and opinions seem moderate by comparison. The following is my reply to one such letter (the letter is italicized, my answers are not):

"Why is homosexual legitimization even a question and why now?"

Why not now?

"And why homosexuality alone among the many forms of sexual deviance?"

Because some sexual minorities, or "deviants" as this writer so disparagingly puts it, cause harm to others. Those deviations that do not cause harm are not legally sanctioned. Those that do are. Same sex attraction does not cause harm. The constant attempts to introduce other subjects into this discussion are attempts to set up straw man arguments which are logical fallacies. Just because people who are attracted to same sex partners are in the minority does not mean they should be denied civil rights.

“Pointless questions in the political realm where advocates know rationality doesn't influence human decision making or behavior, but the perceived beliefs of others does. We are sheep.“

This doesn’t make any sense to me. Am I missing something or is the writer?

“The homosexual advocates have used mass media to relocate this centuries old line between normal and deviant.”

The line between what is considered normal and deviant has been shifting constantly throughout history and between cultures. Scientific knowledge expands and our considerations of what is “normal” (an ambiguous word in the best sense) changes. Would the writer deny the centuries of scientific progress because they violate old norms?

“They supplement this with name calling even though they had to invent a name to call, and they emphasize the new social acceptability (political correctness) they have arbitrarily remade. They also use blackmail, extortion, denial of employment, and boycotts.”

For someone who uses name calling as a major weapon in his rhetorical arsenal this comment is quite hypocritical. The other charges are pure hyperbole and have no basis in fact, except maybe in the case of boycotts, which the right wing uses regularly. Boycotts are an accepted form of political expression. Why should people spend money to enrich those who oppose them politically?

“Rational argument does not convince people, but it is valued as a fig leaf so people can believe or pretend they are acting rationally. But a lie or naive logical fallacy serves just as well as truth. The favorite is the equal rights argument.” But homosexuals have the same rights as the rest of us. They don't want to live equally by our rules. They want new special privileges for themselves. That's their point.”

The logical fallacy that is being promoted here is that having the “same rights” is the same as equal rights. This is not true. The writer tries to take a technicality to distract people from the real issue. Take this hypothetical situation,

“If the government passes a law requiring everyone to practice Christianity, it doesn’t infringe on the rights of those who are Jewish because they are treated equally; Christians can’t practice Judaism and neither can Jews.”

The fact is that heterosexual people can marry those they fall in love with. Same sex couples cannot.

“Next comes the discrimination argument. But the aspects of homosexuality that the law and custom proscribe and abhor are behavioral. Society and custom have every right to discriminate on the basis of behavior. That's what they do. “

Same sex attraction is not a behavior as much as it is a deeply held trait, an orientation. Behaviors can be changed. Is opposite sex attraction simply a behavior? Can it be changed? Hardly! Then again, the TLGB agenda calls for equality in discrimination under the law, not special exemptions the way many religionist organizations do. If a choice like religion or a trait like race can be protected because these traits have been historically targeted for unfair treatment, then same sex attraction as well as gender expression and identity should be as well.

“Never can advocates explain why their arguments don't equally apply to other deviations. They just insist they are already normal. In formal logic, that's called assuming the question.”

What do you call the fallacy of putting words into other people’s mouths? Straw man arguments, perhaps? The issue is about rights for those citizens who happen to be attracted to members of their own sex. It’s not about those other things, many of which cause harm to others.

“The real reasons for the homosexual legitimization drive are a desire to reward a group that has been extraordinarily valuable to the Democratic party, the yearning of baby boomer misfits to recapture the camaraderie, the attention, and the feeling of importance they had in their youth and the desire of younger malcontents to emulate their role models, the leftist hatred of morality and restraint, and a pathological desire of the left to destroy the achievements of Western Civilization particularly things of importance to the parental generation and the Christian religion.”

All I see here and in the rest of this rant are specious statements made without support or real logic. It’s deceitful propaganda at its worst. I think it’s a shame that the PJ would stoop to such a low level as to provide a forum in their print editions for this kind of rhetoric.

Fortunately the paper's online edition allows comments for these "Letters to the Editor." I do know that more than one letter I submitted for publication to their print edition was ignored because of my support for equality for ALL deserving citizens. This activity is something we can all do to influence local perceptions of this issue. You may not convince the ideologues that write this kind of rant but you just might reach the more reasonable readers, many of whom don't write in but still read and heed what is written.

Memorial Day 2009

2009-05-26T08:34:00.000-07:00

This was a memorable Memorial Day in my kitchen. We had visits from relatives whom we hadn't seen in years and a very nice picnic to which I contributed my version of German potato salad. The significant days continue today, with the coincidence of my firstborn son's birthday and the Prop. 8 decision from the California Supreme Court as well as the announcement of Judge Sonia Sotomayer as President Obama's US Supreme Court Justice selection. Wowser!

Sunday afternoon saw both me and my spouse rather worn out and looking for a nice nap. It was interrupted, however, by the appearance of spouse's nephews whom I hadn't seen since I came out to her family. I've mentioned here before how spouse's family still mostly refuses to accept, with some notable exceptions, the changes we've traversed. To see the young people of her family show up unannounced was nothing short of a joyous bombshell. They were kind, friendly and, apparently, at ease with seeing me in my new role. New name and pronouns were scrupulously used. Their visit reinforced the observation that the younger generation is a lot more tolerant of people's life choices and needs. It gives me hope that the future will see more and more acceptance of TLGB people in our culture. Both spouse and I were floating after they left.

We went to a local park for a picnic with the other small part of spouse's family the next day. We were asked to bring a dish to pass and we put together our favorite dish for these occasions, German potato salad, on the evening before. It's a pretty easy recipe and is popular with almost everyone. I peeled and sliced into quarters (lengthwise) about 2½ to 3 pounds of golden potatoes. Regular white potatoes work well for this dish too. Russets are too soft and red potatoes are too dense but they would work in a pinch. While boiling the potatoes, I cooked up 5 slices of bacon (if it doesn't have pig fat it isn't German!) and carefully reserved 2 tablespoons of the drippings. Then I cut up about ½ to 3/4 cup of sweet onion. I think we had a Vidalia in the house.

Once the potatoes were done, I drained and let them cool before slicing them about 3/16 to 1/4" (5 to 7 mm) thick. The bacon was crumbled into small pieces and thrown along with the onion, into the bowl with the potatoes. Then I made the dressing, 1 cup of beef broth, 2 tablespoons of bacon drippings and about 3 tablespoons of cider vinegar (more or less to taste). A pinch of salt was then thrown in to taste (depends on how much salt the bacon has).

I warmed up the dressing in the microwave to just warmer than room temperature, whisked it to distribute the fat with the broth and poured 1/2 of it onto the potato salad. I folded the potatoes, bacon and onions with the dressing, covered the bowl and placed it with the rest of the dressing into the fridge for an overnight stay. The next morning I took then out, let them come to room temperature, rewarmed the remaining dressing and folded that in. The potato salad is best served at room temp or slightly warmer making it a good choice for a picnic.

Today, 31 years ago, I became a brand new parent when my son was born. He lives far away, in Portland, OR and I haven't seen him in person for a few years. We keep in touch via Facebook and he is apparently doing well. I wish him a happy birthday and happy everdays too!

2009-05-20T08:32:00.000-07:00

Today is the New York Statewide GENDA Call-in Day!

Please take a few minutes from your day to call New York Sen. Thomas Duane, the sponsor of GENDA in the Senate, along with your own senator, and ask them to please support equal protections by moving GENDA out of committee, onto the Senate floor and passing it into law. Talking points may be found at the site linked above, if you want them.

Senator Thomas Duane can be reached at 518.455.2451
Senate Majority Leader Malcolm Smith can be reached at 518.455.2701

The committee members that will have to vote for GENDA to get it onto the Senate floor:

Senator Craig Johnson can be reached at 518.455.2622
Senator Ruben Diaz can be reached at 518.455.2511 (Yes, that Ruben diaz)
Senator Pedro Espada Jr. can be reached at 518.455.3395
Senator Martin J. Golden can be reached at 518.455.2730
Senator Jeffrey D. Klein can be reached at 518..455.3595
Senator Michael F. Nozzolio can be reached at 518.455.2366
Senator William T. Stachowski can be reached at 518.455.2426
Senator George Winner can be reached at 518.455.2091

Please make at least one phone call to Sen Duane and your state senator. It's only a few minutes and can make the difference between getting equal protection or remaining powerless in the face of blatant discrimination in much of New York State. This year is our best chance to get this bill passed but it won't move unless we remind the Senate that marriage equality isn't the only vital issue for the GLBT community.

Thank you so much!

hugs & smiles
Emelye

NYS Assembly passes marriage equality bill!

2009-05-12T18:43:00.000-07:00

I see that the New York State Assembly passed AB 7732, the civil marriage equality bill. I'm very pleased that they did so. I am a staunch supporter of civil marriage equality, something many of my previous blog posts have illustrated. Those who discuss this matter in my local newspaper's online Letters to the Editor section probably guessed that too. I'm sure the community will fight hard now for its passage through the state senate.

I still haven't heard any details regarding the Empire State Pride Agenda's (ESPA) call in day for GENDA (Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act). I guess they've been busy with other things. An article in the NY Post (don't ask) says that "Democrats in the Senate are working furiously to get enough votes to turn the proposal into law." This comes as no surprise. As I previously noted, it sure looks as if the GLB committment to GENDA sure flew out of the window in a hurry when Governor Patterson made his marriage bill announcement last April 16th.

So, with the same amount of hope as the fellow that began bailing the Titanic with a teacup, I sent a note today, to Senate Majority Leader Malcom Smith and to the senate sponsor of the marriage bill, Thomas K. Duane, asking them to remember GENDA and pass it first.

Dear Senators Smith & Duane,

I've just finished reading about your vigorous efforts to push marriage equality legislation through the New York State Senate. I'd like to thank both of you for your efforts in this very important issue. I would also like to take this opportunity to ask you not to forget the thousands of unprotected transsexual and other gender variant people that are watching in dismay how their main legislative interest seems to have been pushed aside.

I had hoped that when Governor Patterson announced his introduction of marriage equality legislation, that GENDA would not be forgotten. Unfortunately, in the public sphere and in the news it seems it has been. I'm not a politician and there may well be other factors involved, but I would think a vote for GENDA would be easy to do right now with all the noise and attention being paid to marriage equality but once again, those of us who do not fit gender stereotypes are poised above the wheels of the bus, so to speak, waiting to be dropped. Please do your best to correct the state's omission when they passed SONDA, seven long years ago, without the inclusion of gender identity and expression.

While I consider civil marriage equality to be very important, I believe that GENDA is vital. The ability to marry a same sex sweetheart is pretty worthless if you can't get a job no matter what your qualifications are or if your landlord has thrown you out of your home because he doesn't "rent to your kind." Being married to a person of the same sex doesn't help when a bouncer throws you out of a bathroom or your family out of a restaurant because some paranoid and ignorant customer made a complaint about your appearance.

I think this bill is vital and will not cause the harm its opponents predict it will (with no evidence). I am asking you as a lifelong, law abiding, citizen of New York State, please join your colleagues in the Assembly, work to pass S02406 out of committee and ensure its full passage in the New York State Senate.

Thank you,

I hope those who read this will send these two senators similar emails or faxes. Please be sure to let them know there are real people being affected by the apparent shift of priorities away from nondiscrimination and towards marriage equality.

Thei email addresses: masmith@senate.state.ny.us, duane@senate.state.ny.us

I make jokes about hopelessness but I really think it is imperative that these politicians are reminded that GENDA is about survival, it's about having and keeping a paycheck when someone transitions. It's about keeping a roof over your head when you come out to your landlord. It's about being treated with respect and dignity in the public spaces we all have to enter sooner or later. Let's make sure that even if they fail us on GENDA, that we can hold our heads high and say, "It may not have been much, but I did my best!"

E and J Day, NY and GENDA

2009-05-08T09:13:00.000-07:00

I think I need to get a laptop computer when I'm in funds again. My desktop compy is in the Library/Office of my house and it takes me out of my kitchen.

I read a blog today, The Curvature that talked about one woman's experience at this year's Equality and Justice Day, in Albany, New York, on April 28th. It echoed a great deal of my experience and also my conclusions. It seemed very clear that, once again, trans people and their issues were pushed behind marriage equality.

When Governor Patterson made the announcement, a few weeks before E&J Day, that he would be introducing a marriage equality bill I was filled with dismay. I thought this would be the year for GENDA, the Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act. It was widely known and pretty much accepted that marriage equality legislation had no chance in the state senate. I felt that, finally, the GLB community would have nothing to distract them from their promise of 2002 (when sexual orientation was added to NY nondiscrimination law), that they would, "come back" for gender variant people. The governor's announcement changed all that.

I then realized that this may just be a brilliant political ploy! With all of the right wing opposition to civil marriage equality being highlighted, with all the noise about "protecting marriage," there would be perfect political cover for those who wish to vote for protection while not wishing their center/right constituents to notice. The heat and smoke of a civil marriage debate is perfect for minimizing the political cost, if there ever really was one, of voting yes on GENDA.

I determined that the tone of E&J Day would provide a clue as to how much the GLB community would come to the same conclusion. I figured that the Empire State Pride Agenda (ESPA) would loudly and publicly fan the flames for marriage equality while telling the meeting facilitators to concentrate on GENDA and the Dignity for All Students Act, a bill to protect youth, TLGB youth included, from bullying in schools. Too bad that's not what I perceived. The meeting facilitator for my district was a trans woman from Rochester, New York and we were able to get all three issues on the table. I felt lucky in this because there was no real instructions from the leadership to present GENDA first. As a matter of fact, on one sheet of the handouts, one titled, "What we are seeking from our elected officials," the first issue listed was marriage equality.

Well, I guess I should have expected it, and I guess I did, to a point. So now GENDA finds itself stuck in a senate committee waiting for a vote to get it to the full senate. ESPA is publicizing a call in day, date as yet undetermined, to try to get it moving. I don't expect a lot of GLB support in this, however, so I decided to send a letter, on my own, to the Investigations & Government Operations committee of the New York State Senate:

Dear Senators,

I am writing today to urge you and your colleagues in the Investigations and Government Operations committee to approve of and vote for bill #S02406, commonly known as the Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act (GENDA), in order to pass it on to the full Senate. I believe the need for this bill is critical and that it's passage is long overdue.

While the current furor over same sex civil marriage rights is raging at full force I believe that this bill is more important by way of its impact on people's lives. Those people, like myself, who do not express their gender in stereotypical ways are still vulnerable to harmful discrimination that leads to the loss of jobs and housing along with denial of public services without the benefit of legal recourse. It matters not what sexual orientation a person has, gender identity and expression are separate issues based on identity, not sexual attraction. The Sexual Orientation Non Discrimination Act (SONDA 2002) does not include gender expression and identity and does not protect us from the kind of harm that New York nondiscrimination law was written to prevent.

Some opponents of this bill have incorrectly concentrated upon the public accommodations portion and specifically on bathrooms, changing and locker rooms. The argument is that a gender identity and expression law would expose women to, or somehow protect, male predators when they enter ladies bathrooms and commit crimes. Examples are not given because they do not exist. The argument is made with no proof or example from the 13 states and almost 100 other counties, cities and towns that already have passed similar laws, the first in 1976! Buffalo, Rochester, Albany and New York City are among those places that have similar laws with no reported problems. The fact is that nondiscrimination law that includes gender expression and identity has never caused the kinds of problems its detractors in New York and elsewhere say it will.

While I consider civil marriage equality to be very important, I believe that GENDA is vital. The ability to marry a same sex sweetheart is pretty worthless if you can't get a job no matter what your qualifications are or if your landlord has thrown you out of your home because he doesn't "rent to your kind." Being married to a person of the same sex doesn't help when a bouncer throws you out of a bathroom or restaurant because some paranoid and ignorant customer made a complaint about your appearance rather than behavior.

In conclusion, I think this bill is vital and will not cause the harm its opponents predict with no evidence. I am asking you as a lifelong, law abiding, citizen of New York State, please join your colleagues in the Assembly, pass S02406 out of your committee and ensure its full passage in the New York State Senate.

I would like to urge everyone who reads this to either copy/paste or write your own letter and send it to the members of the committee. Trans people and their allies cannot rely on anyone else to take their bull by the horns. It's our job. Here are the email addresses:

johnson@senate.state.ny.us, diaz@senate.state.ny.us, espada@senate.state.ny.us, golden@senate.state.ny.us, klein@senate.state.ny.us, nozzolio@senate.state.ny.us, stachows@senate.state.ny.us, winner@senate.state.ny.us

I will participate in the ESPA call in day when it's announced. I urge everyone else to also. I want to remember not to rely on organizations whose main focus is the gay and lesbian community, however. Let's help them help us but let's not think we can do nothing else for our own good.

I am thrilled, and grateful

2009-04-11T05:04:00.000-07:00

I'm thrilled about all the recent victories around the country for the GLBT community. True marriage equality in two states, Iowa and Vermont, in the space of 4 days! Both of these states had transgender inclusive nondiscrimination laws already in place. I think its wonderful that they did it in that order.

I'm particularly grateful, however, for what happened in New Hampshire where the House actually voted to a do-over on the inclusion of gender identity and expression in their nondiscrimination law after it was defeated the first time around. When they redid their debate and vote enough representatives withstood the dishonest propaganda of those who wanted to continue their discrimination, in order to pass the bill by 1 vote, 188-187. While the bill has an uncertain future in the New Hampshire senate, I think it's absolutely wonderful that the House, and the GLBT people who worked hard for this bill, were willing to go the extra yard for this result.

One thing I rarely, if ever, see written about is how these political issues affect the GLBT community emotionally. Once in a while there's a passing reference but no real sharing of the feelings people go through when they hear about these victories and defeats. For me, perhaps it's only me, it's personal. Maybe it's because I, as a former middle aged white man (well, sorta), came from the most privileged position in our culture before I transitioned. I get angry, really annoyed to the point of shouting at the computer monitor, at some of the dishonest propaganda and lame arguments used to argue against equal protection and treatment of GLBT people under the law. I also, sometimes, get really depressed when I hear of political defeats that came about because of the lies and distortions.

The message that I am not considered worth equal treatment, because my gender identity doesn't match what they told me I was when I was born, on top of the other stressors in my life, will often be the straw that breaks the often fragile moods I find myself in. It's easy to say, and it's reality of course, that these people don't know me, they are not judging me directly, it's not personal. On the other hand, though, the political defeats against equality for trans people are based on their prejudging me. They don't know me but they assume they do. I suspect, perhaps, had I grown up closer to the edges of our society this would just be the same old shit that I'd had to deal with since the beginning of my life. Coming from privilege, however, makes it all the more painful. And all the more real. Perhaps it's like gravity, short falls don't hurt as much as longer ones.

More about New Hampshire

2009-03-28T09:25:00.000-07:00

I received some more news that, unfortunately, does not relieve my suspicions. It turns out that more than 50 New Hampshire House representatives who are members of the Democratic party were absent from the non discrimination vote. I wonder why the representatives who were not present didn't think it was important enough to attend to the non discrimination vote. I assume they were present when the marriage equality vote was taken the day before. Why didn't they know, why didn't they care? Were they not told of how important the non discrimination bill was? Didn't anyone tell them trans people's survival, tied as it is to employment and housing availability, is a bit more important than being able to marry your same sex sweetheart? Why was the marriage vote scheduled first?

I've already been told by one person, but without any proof (I'm supposed to take their word for it), that there is no divide between the GLB and T portions of the community in New Hampshire. I will count that as one small piece of evidence that I may be wrong and it is far from being enough to convince me.

A Tale of Two Battles. (or was it three?)

2009-03-27T15:37:00.000-07:00

I was very pleased, heartened even, when I heard on Wednesday that Gainesville, Florida had voted no to the cynical and hateful attempt by the so called “Citizens for Good Public Policy,” along with their right wing supporters from the Thomas More Legal Center, to roll back that city’s nondiscrimination law. Their attempt to remove the city law in favor of the much more limited Florida state non discrimination law, using scare tactics based on lies was defeated by 58 to 42% of the voters.

Amendment 1, as it was called, would have rolled back nondiscrimination protections for not only the trans community in Gainesville but also the gay, lesbian and bisexual community as well, since Florida state law does not recognize discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation as well as gender identity/expression. A strong coalition of GLB as well as T groups and individuals, along with the ACLU and NOW, fought the good fight and beat back the oppressors.

Today, however, I hear that the New Hampshire House defeated a bill that would have included trans people in their non discrimination law. The bill lost by 15 votes, 157-172. The day before this vote was taken, however, the NH House voted to pass a bill that would to make same-sex marriages legal, by a vote of 186-179. This particular coincidence fills me with dismay.

Why? Because the GLB community has been so focused on marriage rights that I suspect they gave non discrimination short shrift in their lobbying efforts. I am not connected with either of the campaigns in Gainesville or New Hampshire so this is conjecture but given past history and my own two eyes on how things work in New York State, I feel pretty safe with my suspicion. I hope to see some information from the trans community in New Hampshire that will make me wrong, but I dare say, I doubt it will come.

It is important to note that sexual orientation was and remains a protected category under New Hampshire non discrimination law. There was zero motivation then, from what I can see, beyond enlightened self interest (since gender expression is often variant within the GLB community) for them to devote the resources it would take to get trans people covered when their marriage rights were on the docket at the same time.

The “predators in bathrooms” lie apparently worked in New Hampshire. It didn’t in Gainesville. While I suppose there are many factors that came into play, I am almost certain the lack of support from the GLB community, distracted as they were by the marriage equality bill in New Hampshire, played a significant part in the defeat. I hope I’ll be proven wrong. I really do, but it’s about the same level of hope that I have for an inclusive ENDA, or the hope I have for real support from the HRC, not just words.

I'm already married, why should I care?

2009-02-09T13:51:00.000-08:00

http://www.freedomtomarry.org/get_involved/freedom_to_marry_week_2009bl.php

I traveled to Albany on Tuesday, Feb 3rd, to talk about marriage equality to my state senator, Sen. Cathy Young (Republican and Conservative Party). I didn't get to talk to her, we spoke to one of her aides, so I wonder how much good my visit did to advance marriage equality. I tried to explain to the aide (I wish I had gotten a business card from her, I can't remember her name!) how it is that an trans woman who married before transition and remains married to this day is interested in marriage equality fro the GLBT community. It's actually pretty simple.

My spouse and I married in 1987 after being together for 5 years. I began therapy with an eye towards gender transition in December of 2005. One of our primary concerns was how this would affect our legal standing as a married couple. We found out that, generally speaking, since the marriage was contracted legally at the time, nothing short of death or divorce could dissolve it. Big sigh of relief! Yet, as I moved towards realizing my true self we also realized that our relationship is now that of a same sex couple. A legal same sex marriage, so to speak. (I tell incredulous people that we found a "loophole.") The problem now is that we don't "look" like we could be married! What would happen if one of us should fall ill or be in an accident. What if one of us were arrested? How could we defend our relationship and our rights in a medical or legal setting?

My solution has been to carry a copy of our marriage certificate (with my old name on it, they wouldn't allow it to be changed) and a copy of my name change court order to establish that I am the person named on the certificate. The big problem for me now, though, is that to defend my marriage I, or my spouse, have to out ourselves as a transgendered couple, leaving us both open to the discrimination and prejudice that this label brings. Since I, as a trans woman, am specifically excluded from the protections of the Americans with Disabilities Act, the doctors, nurses or other hospital staff could legally discriminate against me. Of course, that assumes the people whom I have to convince that we are really in a legal marriage, accept the validity of the copies I carry with me. They could stall by refusing to accept them without proof, all of which takes precious time during which one of us could be dying surrounded by strangers. Making same sex marriage legal makes it the norm, hopefully making my defense unnecessary.

Should the unthinkable happen and my spouse and I are separated for any reason it is within the realm of possibility (well, so is winning the lottery!) that I meet someone and that we may want to marry. That brings in all sorts of other problems. I could meet the same horrible fate that Christie Lee Littleton met when her marriage of 7 years was invalidated by a Texas court (http://christielee.net/main1.htm). Or I could fall under the same kind of judicial violence as J'Noel Gardiner did in Kansas http://dir.salon.com/story/mwt/feature/2002/03/22/kansas_ruling/print.html. Both of these cases would not have turned out as they did had equal marriage rights been the law of the land.

So it turns out that I should and DO care about marriage rights. Currently I have to out myself to defend my relationship leaving me open to legal, as well as illegal, discrimination. Some trans activists have pointed out that the fight for GLBT protections under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (which I wholeheartedly support) or ENDA (which I have problems with, even the inclusive version) is much more important than the fight for marriage equality. I agree that they are yet I know I need to stand with the others in my community if I want them to stand for me. If we stand together there's no reason we can't have both issues resolved in our favor.

Keeping my spouse happy

2009-02-08T16:29:00.000-08:00

Wow, I need to be more active in the kitchen! So much has happened I’m having a hard time deciding what to talk about! I could talk about my trip to Albany last Tuesday, sponsored by Marriage Equality New York (MENY) http://www.marriageequalityny.org/ or I could make some noise about Kim Petras and how envious I am. I could mention some of my arguments with bigots in the Topix Transgender forums, http://www.topix.com/forum/news/transgendered. Eventually I think I’ll complain about how ENDA is not nearly enough and that we ought to be specifically included in Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Americans with Disabilities Act.

The one most recent issue that I’ve run up against, though, is the conflict between my activism and my family. As I mentioned in my introductory blog entry, my spouse has encountered more direct criticism of my transition and her decision to stay with me than I have. It’s why I use a pseudonym for my activities on the internet, although my picture and home town designation makes it pretty clear, to those who know us, who I am. I feel a strong need to write about and actively work for my, and my community’s, equal rights. I realize my activism may put me at risk, a risk that I feel is necessary. Yet I have to weigh that risk for myself against the involuntary risk my spouse has to shoulder. I spend a lot of time with her. Someone who targets me because they don’t like what I am or what I stand for can easily include her, purposefully or not, into whatever malevolence they wish to perpetrate. Her living is directly affected by my ability to get and keep a job, for instance.

Another issue is that my spouse has cerebral palsy. She does quite well, only needing a wheelchair outside the house, and does an amazing job keeping things running here on the home front. In her eyes, my responsibility to her is sometimes compromised if my activism takes me away from home. She’s right, I think, although she is a very capable woman (has always had to be, to deal with the like of me!) my first responsibility, willingly and lovingly accepted, is to her. Even though she is a member of the trans community, as a “significant other,” and the issues I work on: non-discrimination laws and marriage equality, affect her in profound ways she seems more inclined to take a role in the deep background and wishes I would do the same. She certainly wishes I would at least shut up about it once in awhile!

I can't, though. I can't shut up about how trans people and the rest of the GLBT community are treated in this country.

Better Late Than Never:

2009-02-08T16:21:00.000-08:00

Well! I found this one in my draft section all the while thinking I published this one. So, here it is, under the heading, Better Late Than Never:

The one most recent issue that I’ve run up against, though, is the conflict between my activism and my family. As I mentioned in my introductory blog entry, my spouse has encountered more direct criticism of my transition and her decision to stay with me than I have. It’s why I use a pseudonym for my activities on the internet, although my picture and home town designation makes it pretty clear, to those who know us, who I am. I feel a strong need to write about and actively work for my, and my community’s, equal rights. I realize my activism may put me at risk, a risk that I feel is necessary. Yet I have to weigh that risk for myself against the involuntary risk my spouse has to shoulder. I spend a lot of time with her. Someone who targets me because they don’t like what I am or what I stand for can easily include her, purposefully or not, into whatever malevolence they wish to perpetrate. Her living is directly affected by my ability to get and keep a job, for instance.

Another issue is that my spouse has cerebral palsy. She does quite well, only needing a wheelchair outside the house, and does an amazing job keeping things running here on the home front. In her eyes, my responsibility to her is sometimes compromised if my activism takes me away from home. She’s right, I think, although she is a very capable woman (has always had to be, to deal with the like of me!) my first responsibility, willingly and lovingly accepted, is to her. Even though she is a member of the trans community, as a “significant other,” and the issues I work on: non-discrimination laws and marriage equality, affect her in profound ways she seems more inclined to take a role in the deep background and wishes I would do the same. She certainly wishes I would at least shut up about it once in awhile!

I can't, though. I can't shut up about how trans people and the rest of the GLBT community are treated in this country.

". . . really a man."

2009-01-17T08:34:00.000-08:00

Hi! Happy to see you again! I've been stewing about this for quite awhile and was just recently reminded, once again, about a basic assumption that lies beneath much of the transphobia we see in this country and, indeed, around the world.

On the heels of a double murder involving a trans woman and her partner in Indianapolis over the past holidays, we have news of another atrocity, less violent but still heinous, coming out of the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Indiana who ruled that a transitioning woman was justifiably fired for violated her employer’s dress code . . . for men! Once again a judicial body denied the reality (and the supporting science) of what it is to be a transsexual person and it seems to me that this denial, the idea that “what you are born as is what you are, no matter what” is at the bottom of much, if not most, of the prejudicial discrimination we have to deal with in our lives.

In Creed v. Family Express Corporation (2009 Westlaw 35237), Chief Judge Robert L. Miller ruled that a transitioning trans woman was, for the purposes of the law, really a man. That Family Express Corporation’s actions because Ms. Creed didn’t follow the male dress code (from what I understand, she did follow the female dress code) her dismissal was justified and allowable.

Those three words, “really a man” are, some of the most hateful things I can hear because it completely flies in the face of my experience and personal narrative. It completely disregards my right to define myself and essentially insists that I’m a liar when I present myself in a feminine social role. This adds irony to injury when I consider how mendacious I felt when I still pretended to be a man. It was that sense of living a lie that provided a huge motivation behind my decision to transition.

When trans people are assaulted and murdered, trans panic defenses are grounded on the statement that, “I found out he/she/it was really a man and I freaked out because of that and I couldn’t help myself and . . . and . . . , etc.” The thought that the poor victim was “really a man” is held forth as justification for the violence. After all, it’s not OK to hit a woman! This idea is also the driving force behind the hateful TV ad that “Citizens for Good Public Policy” ran to lobby against the non-discrimination law in Gainesville, Florida. If someone thinks that trans women are really men in disguise it makes perfect sense to fear them, after all they are being dishonest about who the really are! Who knows what other crimes and perversions are in their minds?

When portions of the feminist community institute rules denying trans women’s entry to “woman only spaces,” justifying their prejudice using the “womyn born womyn” meme , and when we read trans women being described as “male to reconstructed females” it’s based on the fact that we were born male and that we are, “really men in disguise.” Again, a total denial of the validity of trans women’s experiences and lives, not to mention a violation of their deeply held belief that biology does not equal destiny. When gay men insist that a trans woman should just stop pretending and get over the fact that he’s gay, they fall into the same assumption: That the trans woman in question is really a (gay) man, not who they say they are.

If I meet someone new and they start talking to a mutual acquaintance about me, if that mutual acquaintance tells them, "yeah, but did you know she was really a man?" and then I get assaulted and/or murdered for supposedly deceiving people (because that piece of gossip was just tooo juicy to keep to one's self) it's the "really a man" belief that drives that anger. After all, if I was really a woman, there would be no reason to even discuss me in those terms.

When I’m out with my spouse and we meet someone who knew us before transition, it often happens that I’ll get a handshake and she will get a hug. Or I’ll get a hug and she will get a hug and a kiss on the cheek. This even happens with people who are dear friends, who support us and love us. Yet they cannot get that “really a man” thing out of their heads so they treat me other than the way they treat my partner. I’m not sure they realize when they are doing this or even consider how much it hurts and I’m not sure if they did realize it, that they would be able to change the behavior. That “really a man” thing seems to sit very deep in a person’s paradigm.

That basic assumption, the belief that men are men and women are women and they can try to be but aren’t “really” the opposite gender, is what drives all too much transphobia. Combine that with the misogyny that we see mixed in and it becomes impossible to not realize that we need more than just job protection under ENDA. We need Congress to amend Title VII itself to specifically and unambiguously include sexual orientation, expression and identity. Once that happens, we may still be considered really men in the eyes of many, but it will be, at least, illegal all over the country for them to hurt us because of it.

Bratwüst, Sauerkraut und Kartoffel

2009-01-15T18:29:00.000-08:00

Welcome back! What's that smell? It's my sauerkraut simmering and I was just getting ready to fry the bratwurst.

My parents immigrated to the US from Germany in 1953, a year and a half before I was born so German food and culture were always a very large part of my growing up. Our neighborhood, Ridgewood, NY, located right on the border between Queens and Brooklyn, was heavily populated by German speaking immigrants. We thus had a good number of stores in the neighborhood that were run by other German immigrants and catered to the local German tastes. There were at least three German butcher shops, wurst (sausage) being an integral part of German cuisine - over 1500 varieties, I read once - at least 2 or three German bakers and more than a few delicatessens. One of the dishes my mom made was Bratwürst, Sauerkraut und Kartoffel. The sauerkraut was not just unceremoniously dumped from the jar into a pot for heating, not by a long shot. She had a specific way of cooking it that made it taste so much better. I use her recipe and have added a thing or two as the years have gone by.

First of all, I use Bavarian style sauerkraut. You can tell it's Bavarian if it has caraway seed in it. I buy it in a jar, I think it's 15 oz. I put it in a saucepan and add 1 jar full of water. Some people who don't like it to be too sour may rinse it a bit in a strainer (but not too much!) before placing it the pan but I like it the way it comes out of the jar. I then add one container's worth of water to the pot.

I start that up on medium heat and while it comes to a boil I roughly grate a medium to large sized carrot and toss that in. If there's some in the house I often use a medium carrot and add about 3/4 cup chopped sweet (like a Vidalia or Mayan sweet) onion too. Once it comes to a boil I reduce it to a simmer and go to peel the potatoes.

I use regular white potatoes. I peel, cut into halve or quarters and boil them in salt water. That's all that needs to be done with them. One small, or a half of a larger potatoe is reserved. I grate it using the next to last smallest side of my 4 sided grater. The finely grated potatoe is added to the sauerkraut to cut the sourness and to slightly thicken the water it's cooking in. A little more simmering, a pinch of sugar to balance the sourness and maybe a bit of salt, both to taste, and it's ready for the next step.

While the kraut is simmering I start frying the bratwürst. In my old neighborhood we could get authentic German sausages in more than one place. Nowadays, the closest thing I can find to those bratwürst are locally known as Johnsonville Brats. I like to fry at least three to 5 of them over medium heat in a rather large pan. The pan needs to be large enough to hold the sausages as well as the sauerkraut. A braising pan would be ideal, I guess, but I haven't got one. I fry the sausages and might even pierce them in a couple places to let some of the fats run out. When they are well browned and thoroughly cooked, I push them to the side of the pan and dump the pot of sauerkraut in. After the noise and steam quiets I stir and deglaze the pan with the sauerkraut.

I serve the sauerkraut over the boiled potatoes, mashed by a fork on the plate, with a brat or two on the side. Beer is almost a requirement as an accompaniment.

I've received many advantages from my bicultural upbringing. I'm bilingual and have the benefit of being able to live within and compare two vibrant cultures. The local "Bund" (get more than 2 Germans in one place and they form a Bund, lol) offered classes which taught me basic reading and writing in German, even though I hated the classes by the time I was a preteen. My peers in school and in the neighborhood had similar backgorunds, yet through it all I never felt as if I was like them, although I deperately tried to be. I never had the words to express it though, I never knew what kept me from feeling truly included. By the time I hit my teenaged years I was lost but still couldn't figure out what made me do and like the things I did, things that I "knew" other guys didn't do. Puberty was devestating in many ways, especially at its beginning, but I had no clue why. All because I had no frame of reference, no knowledge or vocabulary to describe who I was. It wasn't until I was 20 years old that I finally figured out, I had "a womans soul even though my body was male." Of course, in 1975, this was not something that was talked about except in sensationalistic and derisive ways. I can remember reading about Nancy Hunt and Jan Morris and feeling a bit envious and then quickly telling myself that I would never, could never, be like that. The only strategy that I could envision was to push this thing deep, live with it the best way I could and never, ever, ever tell a living soul about it.

I've transitioned from male to female now and have been living as my true self for more than a year already. I fit in so much better with women than I ever did with men yet I am still painfully aware of the fact that my past was so different from theirs. It makes me wonder if I will ever feel truly a part of any group, other than a group of people with similar histories yet I do know that I have done the right thing, that this was what was meant to be for this life and I cannot even imagine the prospect of never having transitioned, or having to transition back to being male.

Have you heard about that thing in Gainesville, Florida?

2009-01-13T08:05:00.000-08:00

C’mon in, stay awhile! There’s fresh coffee in the machine over there and hot water for tea, if you like. There may even be a cookie or two left in the jar, help yourself! Have you heard about that thing in Gainesville, Florida? You know, the petition drive to repeal a nondiscrimination law? They ran an ad on TV that showed a kinda scruffy looking man going into a public ladies room after a cute little blond white girl had gone in. As if he was gonna go in and hurt that poor little thing. It was really scary, that ad, and I got all upset until the thought stuck me: How does this have anything to do with protecting marginalized people from discrimination? Here, you can watch it for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10vo0jaGjsc

Seems to me that any position that has to stoop to that level of dishonesty is morally bankrupt right from the start. Gay and trans people are no more likely to molest kids than any other person. The so called “scientific” studies that reportedly proved that they did have bee thoroughly discredited, You can see that here, http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow/html/facts_molestation.html Another thing that puts the lie to that sort of propaganda is that it simply doesn’t happen! First of all, there’s no law that would keep a criminal out of a public opposite sex restroom if they wanted to go in there, dressed in opposite sex clothes or not. Criminals, by definition, break laws. Yet these ads never give any examples of when and where it happened before! The reason for that is they can’t. There are anti-discrimination laws that protect GLBT people in may places around the country. I doubt I’d be far off in saying that the “bathroom issue” was raised every time these laws were considered. And since these laws have passed, there have been no instances of a trans person molesting someone in a public bathroom! You can be sure if there were, we’d be hearing about it over and over again from the people who want to keep their prejudicial discrimination privileges intact. I guess those people figure the ads are so emotionally intense that people won’t think much past their false assumptions. I sure hope me and mine are smarter than that.

The most ironic thing about ads and propaganda like that is that female to male people, trans men, would be forced to use public ladies rooms if the opponents of this law had their way. (How to enforce a law like that is another whole topic. Can you imagine??) A person who looked just like the man in that ad could be forced to use a ladies room because he was born with a vagina! Ridiculous, isn’t it? And, I have to wonder, if a trans man were forced by some kind of law like that to go into a ladies room, I’ll bet he’d be careful and kinda sneaky looking just before he went in too because he’d be the target of a lot of trouble, maybe even more than a trans woman in a public men’s room. The net result is that trans people would be kept from using any bathroom, I guess. It’s happened just last week, in Texas http://transpolitical.blogspot.com/2009/01/civil-rights-dont-exist-for-usas.html

Seems some people will say or do anything in order to push other people around, or get their way. Tsk! Sigh.

Welcome to my kitchen!

2009-01-12T18:03:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone! Welcome to my kitchen!

I like to talk while I'm in my kitchen, maybe about politics, maybe about philosophy, perhaps even swapping a recipe or two. It's a warm and friendly place for me and I hope it will be for others too. Why a kitchen? Certainly not to promote stereotypes. I think the kitchen is a place where community can truly be formed. Within families, with friends, with neighbors. The combination of good food and drink along with conversation, both serious and silly, seems to me to be the most conducive to making, maintaining and nurturing relationships.

I suppose I ought to introduce myself. Here's what I tell people about myself when I'm in a chat room that I help moderate:

Emelye is a woman who is pretty much done transitioning (except for one last annoying detail - grrrr!) and who lives her mundane life with her spouse, and an orange cat named Jeeter, in Southwestern New York State. She started living full time as her true self in August of ‘07. She has a wide range of interests and will talk about almost anything. She loves to answer questions because it makes her look smart!

So yeah, I am a trans woman. I'll talk a lot about that, I'm sure. I'm also married to a wonderful woman who has stuck by me through my entire transition. I'll be telling some stories about what we've gone through these past three years as I have transitioned. It's mainly for her sake that I use a pseudonym, Emelye Waldherr is not my legal name. I've found that people have been very willing to vocally condemn and abandon her as friends (and family) while at the same time being unwilling or afraid to come to me directly, something that has alternately made me weep with frustration and guilt or shake with anger. As with many (most?) spouses who stay with their transitioned partners, she has suffered the greatest loss, one she never could have imagined when we married. To have her suffer this addional inequity often makes my blood boil.

That said, we have now been able to work our way through to new life that is significantly different from our old one in many ways yet strikingly similar to the "old days" in even more ways. I still go to work. She still stays home. We still have friends and family even though the composition of that group has changed markedly. We still try to make our way through life much the same way as we did before. Funny that, go figure.